My Life and What I make out of it

An ABC Letter

2012-01-20T16:41:00.000+05:30

My dearest Nephew,

It is winter of year 2012 (pronounced Two Thousand and Twelve for appropriate effect) and we are all very eagerly waiting for spring! Around the same time when beautiful flowers bloom in oak trees, your mother will a) offload a six-pound weight, b) heave a sigh of relief and….…c) beam. The rest of us will beam too and break into a waltz but you, my dear, will finally get some fresh air! I know, I know – all those vain attempts at kicking your way out – Never mind, you tried....

You know, the funny thing about coming into The World is that nobody, not one of us, can remember how we got here. All of us, including you, have to simply take our parents word for it. For instance, in exactly three years time, your Mama and Mami are going to convince you that it was the local stork that brought you to your parents’ doorstep. And you will have to decide whether to take their word for it.

But notice something funny about The World? You have to believe somebody first and understand things later. It’s what we grown-ups call “trust”. Let us call this Word A.

So, it was a beautiful afternoon in Spain and I thought it would be fun to write a letter to you (this is the first time I am writing to someone who is not born yet, hmmm…you should try this too!) Anyway, since you were still ‘in the dark’ (and that’s your first example of a pun…yes, you are welcome!) I thought I will tell you a bit about The World.

For instance, a lot of grown-ups have obsessed about how it looks like, from the outside. The first few guys said it was flat and then came a clever guy who said it was round (But he really got yelled at, for saying so). Never mind, you will learn about such things in that place we call “school”. But what they won’t tell you in school is that there was an even smarter guy who went back to saying it was flat and made a lot of money! See, it literally pays to think differently. So, remember, in your art classes, if you want to paint the sea yellow, the sun blue and the sky purple, then go ahead and do it! Sometimes we grown-ups are too afraid to color ourselves…differently. And there’s your Word B – “creativity”.

Three decades ago, I was in your place. I too was Being Born….Seems like a long time, doesn’t it ? But here’s the thing - time moves so quickly, you’ll hardly notice it. You will be so busy growing up that you won’t see time speeding by you. Don’t worry, growing up is not easy for anyone. You’ll have lots of questions about lots of things and you’ll face your share of challenges. I’ll let you in on a secret: It is really very simple. The only thing to remember while growing-up is this:- When in doubt, always speak the truth. Yes, it is that simple. Your word C is “integrity”.

Ok, let me stop with that thought. I am so looking forward to seeing you! Here’s wishing you a happy first breath!

Lots of Love,

An Excited Mama-to-be

One Woman, One Life.

2011-10-30T00:21:00.000+05:30

Didn’t it start so strange? Us, two random people,

Brought together by technological chance

We started awkward, a balance delicate - feelings gossamer

Orthogonal thoughts ,antithetic backgrounds, shared values

Our story began, so commonly uncommon

An emotional roller-coaster -

My reservation against your exuberance

My mistrusts , fears against your strength and confidence

Your unflinching devotion and your reasonable counsel

That naughty playful exterior covering solid pragmatic interior

Eventually leading me to see the world ,

With eyes - free of prejudice

And now, I slowly close them, to think of one thing to say

With a throaty lump and racing heartbeat,

“I want to be a better man for you”.

Chocolate Math

2011-10-12T16:16:00.000+05:30

(Dusting the ol' blog after a long time..)

As I begin a career in academics, I have been thinking of what I call, the academic SPECTRUM of research. At the one end there is the empirical stuff which is very data driven and essentially an exercise in statistics. At the other end is the theory, which is driven by abstract mathematics.

What is amazing is how mathematics has really become the ONLY language of research - there is absolutely no other recognized way to communicate ideas in academics. Now, whether this is a good thing , especially in the social sciences, is a point of debate. (which, sadly, nobody wants to get into).

An uncharitable view of economics is that it is an elaborate exercise in "mathematical curve fitting" . By that, I mean - you pick up some nice smooth curves (log x, e to the x etc) from the mathematicians and then write stories to link them up with real-world phenomenon. Now, obviously - the properties of the above curves have been extensively researched by the math guys, so over-enthusiastic economists try to ascribe real world meanings to every one of properties and call them by grand names "Law of ..." this and that.. How else would you make a discipline out of it ! (The math guys will be like, whoa! dude - SLOW DOWN)

Anyway, the justification is that these are on a "best efforts" basis. I buy that notion. After all, mathematics helps keep your thinking straight (and these are Krugman's words). But really, the most important thing that people seem to forget is this :

Math can only take you so far. We are nowhere close to the level of sophistication required to handle the real-world. Think of it as playing with binary digits while real world phenomenon requires the notion of complex coordinates.

More practically, what does this mean to all the academics doing research in economics & finance ?

Here's an analogy :
Imagine math as pure chocolate coming from the cocoa tree. There is a long line of economists lined up in front of the tree. At the very end of the line, far away from the tree, are the "white chocolate" economists - who use a little bit of math (chocolate) but a LOT of milk, sweeteners etc - in the work they do. They are far away from the "pureness" of the tree and closer to the town (real world) where they sell their economic ideas (white chocolate). At the very beginning of the line, are the "dark chocolate" economists, who use a LOT of math and very little of anything else. They don't really have much business with the town, most 'consumers' can't digest a lot of this variety. Right ON the tree are the mathematicians themselves ! Here, the ~~chocolate~~ cocoa is BITTER - Imagine, these guys must be really hard-core to like that stuff.

So, a potential researcher should decide which section of the line he wants to belong to. For myself, I can't be ON the tree ! Pure cocoa is too bitter for me. I'd like my feet grounded, though I prefer living in the forest rather than a being a man-about-town ;) So, here's to the dark chocolate days !!

The Gilded Cage

2011-05-28T16:00:00.002+05:30

The fledglings soared - higher, faster, stronger
They lived to 'Succeed', never to wander

But what comprises Success - the query hardly grows old
"Possession of food, and land and gold "

And so the brilliant birds, of glow and feather
Were taught to yearn - for promised lands of Enclosure

The Confined Land - it offered food, land and gold
But - in beautiful cages, of gilded bars manifold

Readily accepting, the birds began Life - in grand confines anon
The promise of regular food, turning whispers down

But Life got funny - it twisted and turned
Forcing birds to think - is it true , that which we learned :-

Is Success about land or is it about gold ?
Or is it Internal - a Fulfillment, to look back from old ?

And so began the longing - to break free and fly
To be just a Bird, sans gilded cage and rye

A chance Moment - door opens, but time is fickle
Two choices - blue, wild sky - closed, safe receptacle :
Crossroads - Zero Hour. Perched with wings spread
Awaits many a Bird.

‘Suitable’ Boys and Girls (On Why It Is Not What It Is – Or Is It. Not.)

2011-05-01T11:01:00.001+05:30

It takes a fair bit of pluck to even attempt to understand Indian marriages. Consider, the fact that it is just not clear, till the very end, as to WHO is getting married. One would think that a marriage between A and B would, principally, involve exactly two people – (the above mentioned A and B). But no, my naive readers – it is much more complex than that. Take for instance, the case when A’s second cousin’s uncle’s grandfather had a show-down with B’s grandmother’s maternal cousin thrice removed -(at a time when a certain white powder was in vogue for dental hygiene). This random sparring of the grand-uncles, estimated to have occurred in circa 1900, if brought to light a mere 100 years later, can potentially damage the matrimony of A & B. So everyone is frantically trying to bury a non-existent hatchet. [ Never mind that, not just the hatchet, even the grand-uncles are already six feet under].

If you just rolled your eyes and looked skywards, then hold your gaze right there. We look up to the skies as well. After all, marriages are made in heaven(ly bodies). Douglas Adams would have called it the Galactic Improbability Correlation. The Galactic Improbability Correlation is essentially a piece of paper written about Mr.A and Ms.B (before either learned to read; and that’s the trick really) - with some Euclidean geometry thrown in for good measure. [Some call it horoscope, but that’s just semantics]. Anyway, this rule requires the planetary positions of Mr.A and Ms.B to have a high correlation. [ The astute reader might have guessed that by its very definition of improbability, the correlation often turns out to be imaginary].

Anyway, it is not all about imaginary worlds. We are intensely practical folks too. How else would you explain the fact that a working knowledge of a machine such as, say, an electric generator can actually help further your chances at marriage. Yes, we have power problems in India and it does help to have a handy ‘man of the house’. Is that it ? Er..not really. I was merely alluding to the fact that an engineering degree is a ticket to marital bliss in India. It is true, an engineering degree with a job in computer programming, will certainly take your stock in the arranged marriage market, north. Now, it is anybody's guess as to what the knowledge of electromagnetism has to do with matters of the heart, but enough said.

But let me emphasize that your humble blogger is merely making observations and reserving judgment. After all the proof is in the pudding: To put 1.2 billion people on the planet is no mean achievement.

What keeps me awake at night...

2011-02-22T11:35:00.005+05:30

The High Court announced its verdict on Ajmal Kasab today. They seem to believe that he deserves some kind of punishment. I am impressed, really. Oh and it took them all of 3 years to arrive at that conclusion and it will take another 7 years before he MIGHT get punished. These guys are exceeding my expectations.

What is justice and why does society mete out punishment to wrongdoers ? These are important questions to ask and answer. (Disclaimer: the discussion here is NOT based on my reading or interpretation of the law, I claim absolutely no formal exposure to these concepts)

Okay, the answer to “why punishment” is not as obvious as it seems. Remember, no amount of punishment can ‘right’ a ‘wrong’. Punishing a murderer does NOT bring back the man he murdered. Period. And yet, as a society, we believe in delivering punishment. Why ?

There are two fundamental pillars underlying punishment : The concept of “retribution” and the concept of “deterrence”. Retribution arises from our fundamental subjective understanding of the ideas of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. I won’t go into morality and its origins, but let’s just say that MOST (=sane) people such as you and me believe that taking an innocent man’s life is fundamentally ‘wrong’. So punishing a man who does so, reinforces our beliefs and provides mental satisfaction. In other words, “retribution” is inextricably linked to the emotional aspect of a human being and it is that, which indeed, makes us human. Take the simple example of two children eating candy bars: Child A snatches Child B’s candy, which rightfully does not belong to him. Now, the parent scolds Child A and punishes her. Child B is served retribution.

The second pillar of punishment is the idea of “deterrence”. By serving punishment to criminals, you deter other potential criminals from committing similar crimes. If a mass murderer is hanged, then society believes that the knowledge/witnessing of the hanging will make other psychopaths to think twice before they embark on their planned executions. In the example of the children, a third Child C, who sees Child A being punished will think twice before snatching a candy bar from any of her peers.

The important thing to realize is that these are not purely ‘logical’ concepts. They go deep into the fundamental idea of being ‘human’ and ‘moral’, so ANY person who does not understand or much less, believe in them, can be considered mentally deranged. In fact, the mind of a criminal/psychopath lacks this very concept of justice. Park this conclusion in your mind because I intend to bring this up later.

Now, I make the claim that DELAYING punishment flies in the face of the very fundamental notions of justice described above. Essentially I argue that if justice is delayed, then the very purpose of punishment is simply not served. It is almost as if, there is no need for punishment any more. Take the case of retribution. In the simple example of the children, it absolutely makes no sense for the parent to punish Child A, a whole YEAR, after her having snatched the candy bar. Think about it. Child B has long since moved on and it is very likely that he won’t even REMEMBER the incident. Since it has been a year , the punishment does not seem to “matter” any more. This is a very important point. We cannot talk of retribution without simultaneously accounting for the TIME dimension.

Now consider the deterrence argument. Since the parent punished Child A after an year, Child C who was deviously clever and observant came to the following conclusion : “ Whoa! So it takes more than a year for the grown-ups to catch up. Nice! In a year’s time – I won’t even BE in this neighbourhood. I can hardly predict what’s going to happen next WEEK, so who knows how things will be a YEAR later. Let me take my chances and snatch that candy bar !! “ Essentially, a DELAY in punishment has exactly the opposite effect. It serves as an INCENTIVE to criminals to take their chances and go ahead with their crimes.

To summarize, justice that is DELAYED serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever and contradicts the two basic pillars of punishment. Lets look at the 2008 Mumbai terror attacks. Ajmal Kasab murdered innocent civilians in cold blood. That fact is undisputable. Now, Kasab will file an appeal with the Supreme Court and then the mercy plea with the President. It will be 2018 by the time he gets “punished” (will that word have any meaning any more?)

Ask the families of Ameena Begum or Mira Chatterjee, two of the many innocent women massacred at CST, if they care. Find out if it matters anymore for the kin of Inspector Vijay Salaskar or Constable Yogesh Patil who died trying to save lives. Ask the father of Vinod kumar who lost both his wife and son together in the senseless killings. These are normal people like you and me. And they didn’t deserve to die. They didn’t.

What kind of twisted perverted society do I live in ? To me, a society that condones delay in serving punishment is no different from the dark mind of a deranged criminal because, as I demonstrated earlier, the DELAY represents a basic travesty of the very two pillars of punishment. In effect, it goes against our fundamental notions of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and finally questions our basic notions of being ‘human’. And guess what ? This inhuman society finds itself going all out to protect and provide for the mass murderer. The Times of India reports that Rs 45 crore has already been spent on the upkeep of his ‘special’ jail. At a daily expenditure of Rs 9 lakh, the tax payer will ‘sponsor’ the killer to the tune of Rs.200 crore by 2018. [Oh, did I mention that the innocent people whom he murdered in cold blood received half his DAILY expenditure as ‘compensation’]

And please please, spare me the ‘eye-for-an-eye-leaves-the-country-blind’ crap. What is the point of having eyes if we don’t even blink in the face of injustice ?

A dash of Bertie !!

2011-02-19T20:41:00.007+05:30

Not just me, YOU, would have hardly imagined. Yet, recent circumstances in my life have distinctly taken a Wodehousian turn. Yes, the good ol' life, has just gotten....how shall we call it....Idyllic. Indubitably. That's the word. Truly, positively Bertie Wooster-ish.

Although I don't scamper off getting engaged to random-golden-haired-blue-eyed damsels as Bertie does, I undoubtedly share his penchant for faux pas on the romantic front ! My whole experience with the dating scene in our great country (blotted by acts of devouring random variants of a spicy dish made of semolina with caffeine on the side) , has been a tad too Interesting. (consider the deliberate capitalization as a forced attempt at being euphemistic).

And then there is the whole idea of having to work for a living. Bah ! So Bourgeois. My kind employer's extended sabbatical leave (which is sure to drastically end if they chance upon this blog) have so re-organized my day's schedule as to give me enough temporal latitude to attempt reading scary books such as these. But classic literature, does make you say la belle vie, doesn't it ? Some of the recent ones such as this (Sheesh, don't look at me like that, I turned ALL of a tender 29 yesterday) and this were splendid, to say the least.

And the Bertie resemblance doesn't end there. I have my fair share of aunts who's recent calling in life is to get me married ASAP lest they begin to chew-glass-and-make-sacrifices-by-moonlight.

All in all, I epitomize Bertie's fried-egg feeling.

Now, irrespective of how long these 'trying' circumstances of serendipity last, I have made a firm resolution on my 29th birthday (isn't that Bertie's perpetual age?). Witness under oath : Bili, a.k.a fellow Drone.

I intend to get more creative and serious in my not-so-idle pursuits. Writing. Here I come !!!

Sanskrit, sans SPIRIT

2011-01-05T20:24:00.003+05:30

Had an interesting discussion with Bili the other day. It arose as we were ambling around in Gandhi Bazaar and discussing an upcoming Sanskrit Sammelana (conference) in Bangalore that both of us plan to attend.

Sanskrit always brings back fond memories of Vijaya High School, where I completely fell in love with the language.

As the name implies, Samskrutham = Samyak (well) + Krutham (done) Iti. (A language that is) well done. Period. There is an inherent quality of appeal in Sanskrit that is difficult to explain. You got to experience it.

And hey - like all languages, Sanskrit expects certain rules to be followed. I don't understand why people make a big deal out of it.

That's what Bili and I were discussing. Why is Sanskrit so MYSTIFIED, especially by people who don't know the language ? (I don't mean to sound pompous, I am no expert honestly) Anyway, the talk of Sanskrit, almost always, seems to imply " something to do with religion" ?! I don't understand why people confuse "antiquity" with "divinity". Yes, it is an ancient language but that doesn't make it divine per se.

Back in Vijaya High School, we learnt Sanskrit just as we did any other language. We played around with words and grammar, discussed language intricacies during lunch breaks - I remember a particular incident when our headmaster EAVESDROPPED into our conversation and began sharing HIS opinions! A great scholar of the language, he soon had us hanging on every word of his. And not only that, unknown to us, there was a small crowd developing around the entire flight of stairs where WE were accosted by HIM!

So, that's how our sanskrit teachers at Vijaya High School were. They made the language exciting to learn, simple. No divinity, no mantras, no fear. For us 14 year olds, it was pure play ! I remember we were disappointed that the language didn't have many(any?) abuses and so we even tried inventing a few !!

After all, don't you know namma Sanskrit has its POLI (Kannada for naughty/saucy) aspects as well ? Haha.

I remember a Subhashita that goes : "Durjanam Prathamam Vande, Sajjanam Tadanantharam. Mukha Prakshaalanaath Poorvam ___ ____".
[ Although a little vulgar, the metaphor is good, lets admit it !]

And can 17 year old males (who did PU-II Sanskirt) ever forget that racy dialogue on female underclothing from Kalidasa's Shakuntala ? LOL

OK, if you just felt that I am trying to "besmear" this ancient language, clearly you haven't understood my point at all. Sanskirt is one of our most treasured possessions and any semblance of "revival" can only be possible if we starting treating it like a "normal" language.

Remove the spiritual paraphernelia that is suffocating its existence.

We need Sanskrit, sans(without) spirit.

Games !

2010-11-17T16:41:00.002+05:30

As I walk in front of my street, I hear kids playing cricket with a good measure of, what is most essential to gully cricket, Screaming.

Yes, be it fighting over who gets to bat first (because the ball is invariably lost before the end of the game) or over a misfield ("thoothu!") - screaming in gully cricket is the highlight of the kids' evenings, as much as it reminds home-owners of their dear glass windows.

Back in 5th grade, I remember playing endlessly in the hot sun on weekends. Too bad the ground I used to play in, has been converted into a park - 'keep off the grass' - Blah!

Vinay, Me, Amit, D.T, Asim, Junaid, Baddi, Vaadi and Chunts. (Hmm..Who am I missing?) We had a team of 11, and we fought cricket battles every weekend with the formidable "Scouts" and the quite-beatable "Korag-ers"[ LOL did you get that? 'Koragu' is Kannada for 'Crib'. They were notorious for cribbing on wanting to bat]

Good times.

So the culture of gully cricket, replete with all its expressions, has passed intact to today's kids.

" BOWLED'IM !!" probably made sense but, it took me a loooong time to realize what "AWZAAAAOUT !!" meant back then or how one should spell 'SCREEEZ' !! LOL.

So, that's the good news about cricket.

But what makes me a little sad is that I hardly see kids playing BUGURI these days. Buguri is an expertise game, where you spin wooden tops with metal tips using strings of ropes. An advanced players can hoist those tops anywhere - make them spin on their palms, for example (ouch). And then we had contests where we break the opponents' spinning Buguri with ours. Very skillful I must say. I wonder if shops even SELL buguri's these days.

And then there was LAGORI. Yet another amazing game. You pile up stones of different sizes and make a pyramid. There are two teams with opposing goals - of 'making' the pyramid and of 'breaking' it. The team making it must dodge the attack of the opposite team, which uses a ball as its projectile. Highly recommended when you have a big group.

There was CHINNI KOLU and there was TYRE ! The latter was totally a no-brainer. Meant for kids of the AATAK-UNTU-LEKKAK-ILLA variety. Essentially, those who were too young to understand any rules. You just give them a stick and find an old discarded vehicle tyre lying around somewhere. (We couldn't afford the whole vehicle you see!) And off you go speeding tyres and maneuvering them with sticks. Gosh ! I used to get so black and dirty playing with tyres :)

I wonder if kids today get out and get dirty as often as we used to.

Actually, today's kid prefers a WHOLE car to play with. Not just a tire. Hmm, evolution.

Liberal Bull

2010-10-30T15:20:00.003+05:30

This is an advertisment. Not for a soap, nothing tangible. I want to advertise an idea. I chanced upon this very well-written piece (Facebook has its uses after all !) and felt totally compelled to advertise it. Here you go :

http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/clicklit/entry/don-t-pity-us-arundhati-not-yet

It is amazing what Arundhati Roy manages to get away with. Don't get me wrong. By 'get away with' , I am not saying she got away with not being 'jailed' or 'punished'. She gets away with insulting your intelligence. I mean, her arguments are so supremely dumb : "Dalit" soldiers - ROFLMAO !! Even people born yesterday know that the Indian Army doesn't have a caste system.

Btw, I found "God of Small Things" boring and even kind of disgusting (couldn't even complete the book)...Really I don't know why she is what she is.

Well, feel free to disagree with me and the article above. I am probably "liberal enough" to allow comments. Whatever.

Ayodhya

2010-10-01T11:17:00.000+05:30

The same land, but two buildings of stone
" Mine's sharp while yours is round "
1 billion people can only think of geometry
When His true nature is that of Unity
Ekam sat vipraa bahudaa vadanti.

Riddles anyone ?

2010-08-04T21:12:00.002+05:30

My first is the last of an American gent
His writings dark, of hearts that tell tales

My middle is a first of a Latin address
Famous-speak before a Roman treachery

My last is a Third, yet only a prefix
That Newton pondered in equal and opposite measure

Your greatest clue in this game’s feature:
I am this that you see and this is..me !

Douglas Adams: An Epilogue

2010-07-14T19:54:00.007+05:30

Life, Universe and Everything.
An honest man's profession.

Software engineering.
An ideal. For a country of 1 billion.

Outsourcing.
The fountainhead of Indian software.

Low cost.
The birth of outsourcing.

Exchange rate.
42 Indian rupees for 1 U.S. Dollar.

42.
The Answer to Life, Universe and Everything.

The Chill Pill

2010-04-08T00:05:00.002+05:30

I think I am making the same mistake all over again :-

Taking life too seriously.

I don't know why, but it is definitely something to do with growing old. If this were 1997, I would have been that white-shirt-khaki-pants school kid, cycling back home in my Street Cat, excited about those interesting things I learnt in school (from GB's sanskrit subhashita's to TKP's geometry ryders !)

I wouldn't worry so much about 'life', like I sometimes do now.

Grow down Kandarp, grow down.

Fight Club

2010-02-04T20:35:00.003+05:30

Investment banking is like this movie.

When I was a programmer, I used to think I worked 'hard' if I left office at 10 pm. That almost sounds laughable now. Life, not light, is based on a Special Theory of Relativity :

And the theory says that 'hard work' can be consistently re-defined relative to itself.

There are 'normal' levels of hard work where you : a) work in shifts b) manage to sleep 6-7 hr a day. [ By shifts I meant, all 3 of them - morning, day and night! ] So essentially, those are your 80 hour weeks. The first rule of the club.

Just when you thought you had all your rules in the bag, you experience something : The next level of 'hard work' - when you begin to lose sleep. ( i.e. You become irritable and develop a f**-all attitude).

So I keep oscillating between these two definitions. And I have heard my peers in some of the other clubs have a harder set of rules. If you believed me so far, you might as well believe that.

To all these dudes, I only have this to say :

Gentlemen, Welcome to Fight Club.

Yasyaasti Viththam...

2009-12-11T22:19:00.004+05:30

Toil night and day, green paper bits - they come your way
Lost in this greenery, nature color blind
Making paper bits, is that my daily grind ?
While Time flies by, I give it no heed
Paper bits, paper bits - is that all I need ?

Time is like Air, I've learnt that rough
You notice air ONLY when you don't get enough
So much for surplus paper , my desires remain out of reach
All I want to do, is eat kalle-puri on a beach !!

Investment Banking

2009-11-07T14:59:00.002+05:30

My first relaxed weekend ! Haven't gone to office YET. How Strange ! :)

It was great to chat with Vinay on Skype after such a long time - I really hope I don't lose touch with my best friends - reminds me to pick up the damn phone and start calling - however busy I am !

Okay - I want to write about investment banking, specifically the traditional division("the banking side") that helps companies raise funds and advises on mergers. I assume(possibly wrongly) that we are NOT the people everyone loves to hate [ who happen to be "traders", "structurers" who built xotic...err...toxic..instruments ]

So, one of my biggest realizations about investment banking is that it is so much about strategy ! In b-school, we seem to put "corporate finance" and "strategy" in separate silos and make incorrect impressions that people good at 'strategy' should only be 'doing consulting' and the highly numerate guys should blindly pick anything that remotely 'has finance' !

You couldn't be more wrong.

If I had my way, I would rename every course in business school that calls itself "Corporate finance" into "Corporate strategic finance". Now, that, would make more sense.

Finance is one of the biggest drivers of company strategy -
You might have a great idea for a product or a service, but if you don't "make numbers" ( call it profits, returns, valuations - if you like ) your business will perish sooner or later. When you ask a question : does a decision make business sense - more often than not, you are implicitly looking at 'financial' metrics (NPV's, IRR's, bottomline - whatever name you give it )
On the funding side, you might shoot down a really great idea, just because you may not have the resources or the capital to finance it.

So, it is important not to forget that finance drives strategy and strategy drives finance. In the couple of months I have spent in investment banking, this is something I have strongly come to believe.

So investment bankers are essentially : Story Tellers of Strategy.

If I have to explain my profession to a bright school kid, I would show him a copy of the Financial Times, especially the page with all the numbers - equity values, interest rates, etc etc...

Assume he asks : What do I do with this set of random numbers ?

I would simply say, my job is to build a story around them. That's what bankers do - they get data from various sources ( financials, stock prices, market trends, macro-economics) , neatly arrange them in such a way that they make sense or rather, help them build a story.

Later they print out some nice looking copies of that storybook (which is sometimes known as a 'pitchbook' in their jargon) and try to sell that story to a client.

You know, it actually starts with " Long long ago........
And ends with ..............." And the two (companies) will live happily (married) ever after !!

Quick and Dirty update

2009-10-27T20:55:00.006+05:30

Didn't really get the time to sit down and pen my thoughts about the London experience. I just HAVE to record somewhere what a great time I had ! So here goes,

Thanks to Agatha Christie and the London tube, I had a really great time ! [ I owe my readers an explanation..later!]

Now I have cribbed enough about my long investment banker-work nights in Hong Kong. So no more of that...Ah, that reminds me of another post due : on what investment banking is, and what it is NOT. What makes it interesting, and what doesn't.

On the personal front, my life is getting a little filmy....Cut !

Destiny's Child

2009-08-23T10:19:00.004+05:30

No, I am not referring to girl pop music groups.

Aren’t we all children of destiny ? That is not a negative statement. It is more an acknowledgement of our vulnerability to the Unknown or the Unknowable. I allude to my life-experiences over the past two months.

So far, my father has undergone a series of 3 successful, although extremely risky heart surgery-procedures. Thankfully, he has miraculously recovered every time.
Seven years ago, The Times of India reported my dad's surgery, as a rare accomplishment by Dr.Devi Shetty and his team of specialists. As fate would have it, my fifth-semester exams were going on in Calicut at the same time.
The operation was scheduled on a Monday and Dr.Shetty had insisted that all family members be present, (in my case:exam or not!). In short, the situation was very serious. Now, in a series of end-semester exams, if one exam concluded on a Friday, you would expect the next exam to be on a Monday right ? Wrong! It was on a Tuesday, for no explicable reason ! My classmates at NIT might remember – the paper was on Linear Integrated Circuits.
So basically, I managed to see through the success of the procedure on Monday AND take the night bus back to Calicut in time for the exam on Tuesday(using a hand-torch inside the bus to aid my cramming!). It was pure destiny that the exam was NOT on the day of the surgery.

Fast forward to Aug 4th, 2009. My father developed a major complication post the procedure and his blood pressure levels had shot up to 320+. At such high levels, there is a high possibility that at least one of the million hair-like blood capillaries that go to the brain gets damaged, leading to a brain stroke and paralysis. Thank heavens, nothing of that sort happened. When I spoke to a doctor, he simply said – there are certain things you can’t explain by medicine…..

In the midst of all this, I lost my job. And regained it back. The point is I had nothing to do with either of these two circumstances. Blame the financial crisis, if you like. There are some things that are just not in your control.

I also made some plans to start on an alternate career-path. And that didn’t work out very well, believe it or not, it was all a question of bad timing – I couldn’t have done much. (I can't divulge any more details than that at this point).

Anyway,I don’t mean to sound escapist in this blogpost.

But I truly believe Randy Pausch, of Last Lecture Fame, when he says :

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand”

Celebrating Celebrities

2009-08-17T00:46:00.004+05:30

Shahrukh Khan is questioned for 2 hours by an immigration official at the Chicago airport. Lo and behold! It becomes national news, and for 3 continuous days at that .
Let me get this straight, 1 billion people have nothing better to do with their lives than weep and wail and feel sorry for the actor. At least, that's what the mainstream, populist media thinks, feeding us with the same boring news again and again.

One of our ministers has the gall to proclaim "Tit-for-Tat":"Lets do the same thing to them". Is she out of her mind ?? Sheesh ! What are we - a nation of immature schoolkids - trying to pull each others' hair over a piece of chocolate ? Grow up, Minister. We are 62 years old, you know.
Just to refresh your memory Madam Minister, the immigration official was only doing what he was trained to do - his job. And in case you didn't know, it is his country.

This episode makes me wonder why celebrities in India are so unaccostomed to security procedures. Clearly, it is to do with the demi-god status they enjoy wherever they travel in India. If Sharukh Khan takes a domestic flight in India, most ground-staff at the airport will practically be salivating to get a glimpse of him. What do you expect the poor security officials to do ? The last thing on their minds would be their jobs. They would rather be thrusting pieces of paper for autographs!

Let me confess - I am not very different from these people. You see, when Aamir Khan and Madhavan were in IIMB to shoot a movie, I waited patiently for their badminton match to get over just to get a photo clicked with them. It is the herd mentality, I plead guilty on all counts.

That brings me to the fundamental question :

In modern society, why are movie actors given so much of importance ? Of all professions, movie-acting gets paid , written and talked about the most.
Why ? What underlying sociological phenomenon is at work here ?

To me, the answer lies in the skewed direction in which the whole concept of entertainment has begun to move.
Lets pause here and rewind our clocks to, say, the 12th Century. What was the idea of entertainment back then ?
Not very different from today - There was art : dance, music , theatre and there was literature and sports. But the crucial difference was that there people had more time on their hands to savour these creations.
A direct consequence was that there was a more honest appreciation of these art forms than there is today. Our ancestors had the time to study, reflect and ponder a writer's work - so 'Art' was clearly more important than the 'Artist' himself . For example, the story and the creativity behind it was more important than who actually enacted the play.

Fast forward to today's fast-paced life : Entertainment has a very very narrow definition. Literature has taken a backseat. There are two main recurring themes : a) "Television" b) "movies". Fast entertainment. That is really the operative word :fast.
It is so easy to entertain yourself with the idiot box. All you need to do is sit in front of it and switch it on. How easy can that be !

No wonder we do it over and over again.

Naturally, if you spend an inordinate amount of time watching TV and movies, the characters within those movies become larger-than-life images. It is not their fault, they can't help it.
And when these people, read actors, are always on the top of your mind, you begin to fantasize on how they 'look' outside their screen lives. So if you hear they are somewhere around, you badly want to catch a glimpse of them. The problem is that this whole thing becomes self-reinforcing since everyone around you is going through the same experience. And then there is the whole fantasy of imagining how it would be to lead the life of one of them.

Celebrities....we need to ask ourselves what are we really celebrating ?
[ Oh I almost forgot, when is 'My name is Khan' releasing ? ]

Love Thy Neighbour ?

2009-06-03T22:12:00.003+05:30

Me : Can someone tell me why we are playing cricket with Pakistan ?

You : Why not ? What's cricket got to do with it ?

Me : Sportsman spirit is when your opponent plays brilliantly and you have the character to walk up to him and congratulate his performance. And sport between countries is essentially a celebration of the spirit of friendship and brotherhood. I don't think this is a time for India to be celebrating with Pakistan.

You : Look, you are probably protesting against the 26/11 Mumbai attacks by Pakistanis and the clean-chit given to Pakistani terrorist leader Saeed Hafiz yesterday......

Me : Yup.

You : Duuude, why punish the Pakistani cricket fans for that ? - most of them had nothing to do with it.

Me : Neither did the 170+ Indian people who were massacred in cold-blood. Why were they targeted ? They were just going about their normal lives. What did they die for ?

You : That is the nature of terrorism. The exact targets don't matter to the terrorist. You should look at the big picture. It is about making a statement - sending a message.

Me : Ah, now you understand. So, I am not against the cricket match per se, it is about *refusing to play* and making a statement - sending a message.

You : Duuude, there are diplomatic channels available to register protests. Haven't you heard of the UN ?

Me : LOL. What have we achieved so far by merely "registering" protests ? Let me see, first we said we were "unhappy" and then there was the attack on the Parliament, then we said we were "disappointed" and then there was 26/11 - not to mention the regular loss of Kashmiri lives for which we are officially "unhappy" and "disappointed"....

You : Okay, you have a point.....But still, cricket man ! Pick something else dude.

Me : Givvve-uppp.

The Great Indian Middle-Class Dream

2009-05-23T14:56:00.006+05:30

If you are an Indian aged between 15 and 18, this is the season of maximum anxiety. It is the time when results of the biggest rat races in the country (a.k.a competitive exams) get declared. SSLC, PUC, CBSE, CET, JEE, AIEEE - the list is endless. The stress level run high, visits to Tirumala shoot up - "Did I make it?" "Did I?" "Did I?" sleepless nights galore.....

Bang !! Euphoria for some, dejection for many. The kids('Gods') who "did it" get mentioned in all the daily newspapers - it is an extremely proud moment for their parents and their respective schools.

Lets look at the press statements these kids give. "I want to do engineering", "I want to go to IIT", guess what ? it is the same mantra repeated over and over again.

Really, what DO these kids know about "engineering" or "IIT" ?

I'll tell you. I was there a decade ago. Here's what comprises the vocabulary of a bright Indian 16 year old.

1. Engineering = Science + Math. If I am 'good' in science and math, I HAVE to 'do engineering'...whatever that phrase means.

2. IIT = Social Prestige. If I am a bright kid, I am supposed to be in IIT. I will be the neighbour's envy, I'll be the parents' pride.

That is the (delusional) world they live in.

I don't blame the kids. It is the entire ecosystem. Parents, teachers, uncles, aunts, elder brothers/sisters - everyone has the chronic illness of 'Engineering Obsession'. Call it the Ultimate,Unquestionable Middle-Class Truism.( U.U.M.C.T )

Imagine! All those SSLC, CBSE toppers in every school - EVERY SINGLE ONE of them was BORN to be an engineer ! Don't blame me if I find THAT a little curious. There are at least 10,000 schools in this country. I thought the idea of a school is to recognize and nurture talent...for the love of God, how did ALL of them ASSUME that
Talent = Science + Math !?!?!

Lets dig a little deeper. What is the reason behind the U.U.M.C.T ?

It is because every member of the Indian middle class has a predisposition to move up the ladder of economic success. If you are reading this and belong to this great class, look at your forefathers and the family tree. In most cases, you would find a natural progression of increasing economic wealth with every generation.

In other words, Wealth Creation remains the single most important goal of the Indian middle class - it is that aspiration which fires the imagination of almost every member of the group. It is in the movies they see( mere paas bangla hai, gaadi hai..) , it is in the (blatant!) blessings they receive - Oodhi Mundhay Baa! 'Study well and Move ahead'..

And in today's context, an "engineering degree from IIT" is (arguably) the EASIEST WAY to launch an Indian middle-class kid into that Wealth creation mode. (Software engineer and/or MBA etc etc...you know the beaten track). Plain and Simple.

So, engineering is essentially a short-cut. And everyone wants to take it. Irrespective of what their real talents are. Hence the death-knell to Art, Literature, Pure Science and a host of other fields.

Certainly not a healthly progession for Indian society as a whole. India's bright kids do not want to pursue and innovate in fields such as Art and Literature, remember there is wealth there too, only it is HARDER than the engineering way.
Art and Literature are major constitutents of a country's culture. When there is no innovation, consumers have no choice but to IMPORT it from the West. It is free and well-made - ready-made , oh - and they don't have these troublesome distractions called IIT's !

---------------------------X--------------------------------------

UPDATE [Thanks to Parul Bajaj for this video]

"..The education system...came into being to meet the needs of industrialism...The most useful subjects for work were at the top. You probably stayed benignly away from things at school when you were a kid, things you liked, on the grounds that you would never get a job doing that.."

Tejasvinavadhi....Lead Us From Darkness to Light

2009-04-03T16:02:00.006+05:30

I shook hands with Mukesh Ambani as I received my degree. His words, “Srinivasan Congrats” still ring in my ears. For whatever it was worth, the MBA is truly OVER.

Whatever it was worth….now that’s a curious phrase. What WAS it worth, really ?

It was worth the peer group. That’s it. The peer group.
You can stop reading this post. That’s all I have to say.

You see, when someone tells you they ranked 4th or 17th in IIT-JEE , you simply KNOW their DNA is different ! Jokes apart, it is easy to acknowledge the stupendous nature of such achievements. Now lets say you pull out a random set of CV’s from the IIM Bangalore PGP Class of 2009. Here’s what you will see :

The first CV will read ‘1st rank in SSLC for the state of Maharashtra’. The next one will repeat the exact same wordings, just that the state would be Kerala this time. Then there will be one with a 1st rank in CET(Kerala) , yet another with a 2nd rank in CET(Karnataka) . Then there will be a couple of CV’s with CAT percentiles as 100. Yeah, you read that number right.
[ wtf this is max phootage !]

Amazing. Those of us who have written these exams probably know what it takes to get there. The mind boggles!

Now imagine setting up similar such individuals one against the other in an academic ‘battle’. Believe me, you DON’T want to get caught in the crossfire ! It is fair to say the words – ‘test’, ‘quiz’,’assignment’ and ‘exam’ get a different MEANING inside IIMB.

We pride ourselves that the best part of our Indian education system is its competitive nature. In that sense, my college is literally the culmination of that system. Indeed a (Very) Indian Institute of Management.

Success, in the business context, is the reward you get for hardwork, perseverance and intelligence. Ambani corroborates.
I believe high performance in academics is the best measure of that (esp for an age group predominantly under 26). So, the unique selection criterion of IIMB, with its ‘over’ emphasis on consistent academic performance, is really a clever strategy of Well begun = Half done.

I must admit, IIMB has been a humbling experience. In school, I used to have a condescending attitude towards people who were not in my circle of high-achiever friends. Here, I have had to stand outside that circle….
To say that talents differ amongst individuals is not enough, you have to experience it. Every person in this world is...different. Not unequal.

So much for the professional side.

On the personal front, I made some great friends. Really smart, perceptive individuals with whom you always end up having a witty and engaging conversation – be it cribbing about the system, or gossiping about who’s going out with whom. ( What are colleges for!)
Oh, I will certainly miss them : Them and all the L^2’s, Shubho’s quizzes, SecB-Bracket, IIMB Lingo, Tsepak, Section contests, Boston Legal marathons, arbit CP, Shyamal Roy’s classes, inter IIM & Sista, H-Mezz, F-top, and Gundu Rao.

And now, like T.S.Eliot, I say : Om Shanti Shanti Shantihi

**END OF PART II** [Anticlimax! no story this time]

Vaishnav jan to....

2009-03-05T23:15:00.000+05:30

Over and over, we make ourselves the fool
Fighting over material possessions, was that Gandhiji’s rule ?
Stupid Government, where were you all this while !
Pseudo-Patriotism and the voters you beguile
If it is cultural heritage you want to protect
Then start with Sabarmati, she screams of neglect.

The Goodbye Mood

2009-02-25T13:54:00.002+05:30

I wrote my last exam at IIMB today.

The MBA, as I know it, is OVER. No, I am not emoting yet - it hasn't sunk in. I will reserve a separate post for the time when I get sentimental! (possibly after the last L^2)

I made a lot of friends at IIM. I wonder how many I will "keep in touch" with. I'll probably say that to everybody I meet over the next few days - but I know that is such an abused phrase. When I left Oracle, I thought I would never lose touch with my colleagues - today, I hardly talk to 2 or 3 of them regularly.

Makes me wonder : there are 3 circles of acquaintances we all have:

The "Like" circle
The "Dislike" circle
The "Indifferent" circle

The first circle comprise those people whom you really LIKE being with. The ones with whom you feel the urge to share ideas, opinions, cribs, and more importantly - the ones with whom you can be yourself - AND be comfortable, being yourself.

The "dislike" circle is the opposite - would be quite small for most people.

The largest of the 3 circles is the Indifferent circle. These are people who don't dislike you. It is just that they don't care. You have your life, I have mine :). We don't realize this, but almost 75% of all your acquaintances will belong to this category.

Managing your social relationships is about understanding the asymmetries between the 3 circles : You might place a friend in YOUR "like" circle, but he might place you in HIS "indifferent" circle - and vice versa!

It is interesting to see how these relationships will play out in the coming years.

For now, here's what I say to my "like" circle at IIMB:

I'll Keep in touch !!

Half-a-story of a Stony,Grey Building

2009-02-05T01:55:00.001+05:30

In the land of LORE’B, there was a Grey, Stone Building and the Grey, Stone Building was important. It was important because the Elders had established it with a specific purpose : The high and lofty goal of Learning, that of dispeling the darkness of Ignorance. Someone remarked that the grey was symbolic of the darkness-to-white light transition. He owned a zebra.

Over the years, the grey stone building developed a reputation for selecting the brightest kids in the land. And all this was mainly due to an animal. A cat.

To be precise, it was a cat with a whim. And this capricious cat roamed at the entrance and would never let kids enter unless they strung a bell around it. So kids of the land began to obsess over felines and bells. And that’s when things began to get ..….very, very arbitrary.

Somewhat arbitrary were the kids themselves : for whom, it became more important to ‘get into’ the Grey, Stone Building – rather than think of what they would do once they were inside. A million kids were trying to squeeze in, and by some inexplicable reason - it turned into a stupid competition of who-can-squeeze-in-first. One kid was asked, “ If everyone jumps into a well, would you jump too? “ For which, he nonchalantly replied “ Of course, there must be something in the well ! “

Somewhat very arbitrary were the kids’ parents: for whom it became a matter of 'social prestige'. Their starry-eyed neighbours would exclaim : “Wow , did you say your daughter entered the Grey, Stone Building ?”. It felt good. It felt so good that nobody wondered why.

Probably the most arbitrary were the things that happened to the kids once they entered the Grey, Stone Building………

The lives of the kids inside were governed by the great decree of Gaussian Curvature. By this decree, the kids had to wear electronic headgear with lots of tiny, white bulbs. The bulbs were digital display, so each kid had a number glowing over his head – 3.25, 2.41, 3.67 etc.

The numbers came about through an extremely elaborate, entirely random process.
The process was this :-
Every few months, the kids were given books to read. Every few weeks, the kids were asked questions on what they read. Early in the morning, the Elders would take the kids on top of a hill. The shape of the hill was specially designed to suit the great decree of Gaussian Curvature.
One Elder would shout the question, the fastest kid would answer it, so he got to stay. The rest were pushed off the top by the Elders and they came tumbling down the hill. It was that simple: Question, Answer, Push. Question, Answer, Push. The system was as perverted as it was curved.

It ran like a well-oiled machine - the only thing that mattered to the kids was to absorb every book thrown at them. It didn't matter whether the books were relevant to their lives outside the grey walls. 'Absorption' was the only way to avoid the ignominy of tumbling down the hill. Everyone hated being pushed around. It was the grand decree of Gaussian Curvature.

The system was so evaluative that it began to change the kids’ personalities. Having been constantly pushed and bruised, most kids became aggresive. They also became very judgemental. They would measure each others' self-worth by the numbers that the Curvature assigned for their digital displays. The higher the number(glow), the greater the respect a kid got.
The junior kids would outstretch their hands in salute of their senior: "Hail the great one!" It was an obsession.In every definition of the term.

Even the elders rewarded the kids on-top-o-the-hill. If they desired feedback, they would call only such kids for the discussion. Apparently, they didn't seem to know that talents can actually differ amongst individuals.

And such was life at the grey, stone building.

Now, was that the whole story ? No.
After all, it was not as if everything was wrong about the grey, stone building. Certain things were , in fact, truly amazing - they made all the 'squeezing in' worthwhile. To speak of these great things, a moment has been chosen - A month from now, an event of great significance is about to take place at the building. The pen shall write again. Peace out.

**END OF PART I**

A Simple Thought

2009-02-01T01:23:00.003+05:30

Certain things are just not meant to be
And realizing this is really the key.
Obsess with them and you are your own foe
You can't have it all, so LEARN to let go.

Appalled by the Abusive Language

2009-01-12T23:24:00.003+05:30

I am not sure how to convey my point without sounding "racist". Nevertheless, I shall make my comment, remembering to keep an open mind for criticisms and clarifications. Frankly, I WANT to be proved wrong!

Here goes...

In one of my earlier posts, I made an observation that Hindi-speaking youth are way too liberal in their use of Abuses - something that is not tolerated by their South India counterparts(I can speak only for Kannadigas, but I suspect it applies to other languages as well).

I want to stress this point again.

In a recently concluded sports meet, I heard all kinds of tasteless abuses being hurled by members of both contingents against each other. Of course, the Abuse Cacophony was mostly in Hindi.

Now, the common understanding is that the abuses are not to be taken 'literally' - they are only a means to distract the opponent ( It is more 'sledging' than anything else). But, the act of screaming disgusting abuses over and over again in the name of 'sledging' is beneath my understanding. These abuses are cheap and very disrespectful of the fairer sex.

I have a simple standard for comparison. Such abuses might exist in Kannada as well, I don't deny that. But one would NEVER associate such words with the vocabulary of a person who has been through formal education. It is the language of the street-rowdies , goondas or thugs. Certainly not me or my peers. (Trust me, I have a very big sample size to check and compare).

But guess what ? The people who enjoy using them are from the best undergraduate institutions in India - colleges that have constantly produced some of world's best minds.

Isn't it shocking ? How could people who have been through great educational experiences have absolutely NO REFINEMENT of tongue ? A spiritual leader once used the term "Intellectual Savages" - I find that appropriate in this context.

Given my cultural background, I can NEVER imagine myself stoop to these levels. And yet, the Hindi-speaking people seem to condone the use of abuses that are extremely disrespectful, especially of womenfolk . Is there a deeper issue of women being traditionally objectified more frequently in the Northern states than in the South ?

If you are a native Hindi-speaker, you might offer this explanation : "Look, they might sound bad to a non-Hindi speaker like you, but they are just words! you shouldn't read much into them - we don't 'mean' it when we actually 'say' it "

Give me a break!

If so, do you use it in the presence of elders - why not ? Why do you make such a big deal if you find women using them (remember the 'pagalguy episode')? And why are all the abuses biased towards one gender ?

I am looking for answers.

You see, I love the language but I am very wary of the culture it begets.

Despair

2008-12-02T12:26:00.004+05:30

Another 'leader', another 'promise'
Pathetic excuses, till terror returns.
Senseless killings, the world going mad ?
Wrong turns right, The Book is bad ?

Pleasure from torment, on lives innocent
Greater EVIL, there exists none.

You Yes Yam Bee Yay

2008-10-11T03:34:00.004+05:30

There are probably a zillion resources at the I.I.M's disposal for information on the U.S Business School Application Process. But I wonder how many of them discuss survival issues, once you get through.

After spending nearly 3 weeks at a U.S Business school, I'll attempt to highlight two Critical Success Factors (CSV's) for the I.I.M.

Before I begin, let me clarify that I.I.M refers to an 'Indian,IT,Male' : yeah, the largest 'race' ( = competing pool ) of applicants. [ It is an unintended sarcasm against my institute in India which positively overflows with members of this species.] And just to be politically correct, everything I say applies to women as well(ya, whatever).

So CSV1 is that you need to completely RE-ORIENT yourself before you reach Bengaluru airport [ All of you are in Bangalore right ? - sorry couldn't resist the cheap shot :) ].For starters, vaccinate yourself against the MUG ITCH. This is a chronic illness peculiar to the Indian sub-continent. It manifests by sending the following brain signal many times during the day : " MUG OR PERISH" , "MUG OR PERISH". [ Mug is slang for 'cram' in Indian English..] anyway, you get the idea.

If you retain the MUG ITCH in a b-school, it can get really lethal. Don't worry to death about your grades. They DON'T MATTER. Back in India, the rule of the game is a Nike slogan : 'JUST MUG' :D Sorry, doesn't work here!

The harder part is developing your social skills. Lets face it, we Indians are kind of sucky at this. I am not referring to English not being our native language. We are great in the 3 R's man : but there should have been a 4th R for conveRsation skills !

That brings me to CSV2. If you want to find a job here, know that you are totally on your own. No hand-holding "placecom"s. Network with people to find out what interests them and you. That's how you get an interview call. Its quite simple - if you don't network, you don't have a hope. This is the culture shock that Indians go through, not tissue paper!

All the best folks !!

[ It is our education system, you know. We are way too focussed on fostering individual brilliance, with little or NO emphasis on group activities. I can't think of any group science project I ever did back in school. And to top that, extrovert kids are dubbed 'talkative' by teachers while the quiet ones are praised for their 'discipline'. Crap ! ]

X - Pensive Mood....

2008-09-30T02:08:00.005+05:30

The other day, I woke up with a bad sprain on my lower back region. Many days later, the pain didn't seem to go away. So, I decide to visit a doctor and get an X-ray done.

But oops - Wrong Country to fall sick !!

Let me explain:
I went to this medical center in Aurora, Illinois armed with a doctor's prescription for an X-ray of the Spine. I casually asked the receptionist, 'what would be the approximate cost?'. He looked up some records, pulled out a piece of paper and wrote 3 digits. Man, maybe he was a psychic or something, my pain almost VANISHED when I saw those magical digits. No kidding. Here's what he wrote :

Lumbar X-ray: $ 973.00 (gulp)

See - no pain now :D :D

But seriously, WHAT THE @$#@# !!! It is JUST about thousand times more expensive than my country! [ yeah, I am quite sure you could get an X-ray done for 50 bucks in India - as we say in Kannada, 'Chillll-rayyy' , compared to this ]

There seems to be something terribly wrong with the healthcare system here. Now I see why there is such a big discussion on healthcare every election. So, the big question - WHY ?

My first thought was on health insurance. If you had had insurance coverage - you would pay around 10% of the total cost (which is still not a small amount), but nevertheless - somewhat 'believeable'. Here's a crazy idea - what if hospitals secretly tie-up with insurance giants to artifically inflate prices so as to get more 'real money' from the patient. That doesn't make sense - I read that there are tens of millions of Americans who don't have insurance at all. So, "$973" is probably the real price of an X-ray in the U.S.

Goodness - if I were owning an insurance company, I would be spending sleepless nights worrying about chapter 11 bankruptcy! Hmm..I suppose I can make up by charging super-high insurance premiums....But most Americans are covered for insurance by their employers, so is the final burden on them ?...

Anyway, I am drifting off. I still don't know why health care is so expensive ?
Some quick googling brings up high administrative costs, malpractice insurance,medical technology/equipment as the main culprits. But these are too generic for me. Somebody find me a good writeup discussing the root-cause of the problem please, dear reader?

P.S: Oh,in case you are still wondering about the pain I had(sweet!), seriously it's gone! and thank God for that!

2 Bananas and Flushing Meadows

2008-09-07T02:32:00.005+05:30

New York is such an 'International' City. When I travel in the subway - I see so many different KINDS of people - language, race, physical appearance - its amazing!

Everyone uses the subway and the subway is always crowded - the resemblance to Mumbai is uncanny. The similarity extends - New York is a dirty city :) [By U.S Standards] ; plastic bags lying unattended on the streets, cigarette butts thrown carelessly - the usual. Quite a generic correlation between population density and unkemptness!

Also, New Yorkers go about 'minding their own businesses'. Nobody has the time or inclination to greet you or exchange plesantries if they bump into you. Now, coming from India - you won't find this odd - that's how it is everywhere.

But Chicago,(or the rest-of-the-US I assume) is quite different. I remember going for a walk in the beautiful neighbourhood (called The Highlands) at my sister's place - everyone greets you with 'good morning!' 'how are you?' as if they have known you for years. You feel a little weird initially but get used to it soon :)

Okay - back to New York. My point about these cultural etiquettes goes deeper. The whole American Culture Theme can be described in two words - informal and friendly. If you are standing for shelter during rains, you might start off an witty conversation with the person next to you and you wouldn't even know!

Like I observed while waiting for the final decision regarding the Nadal - Murray match. Hurricane Hanna had spoiled Murray party - man, he was really on a roll!
We are going again to the Aurthur Ashe Stadium today to see the remainder of the match. I am going to shout "GO RAFA!!" yet again, but I suspect it is going to be more effective this time ;)

To give you an idea of the informality in American culture - as we were passing through the security checks at the stadium - a tall,burly officer said :"I am sorry,if you have 2 bananas - you may want to step aside please.."

I froze. Certain that I had misheard him, I assumed he was referring to two plastic bags (which I was carrying). Then he gives us this big smile and says : "Just kidding folks - Enjoy yourself! " LOL

Table Tennis and Sweet Revenge

2008-08-10T22:11:00.003+05:30

We thrashed IIM Calcutta in Table Tennis.

BIG TIME (read Straight sets)

If I may modestly add - under my 'able captaincy' :))

Oh - Sweet revenge !
(after having lost to them exactly a year ago , a match that we should have ideally won! )

Feels great to break the Jinx - IIM Bangalore won a Table Tennis event for the FIRST TIME in the History of Inter-IIM Sports! Yo!

The credit should go to my entire team - we practiced hard , we had some amazing talent in the first years - and history created itself :)

The overall scoreline read 15 games to 2 in IIMB's favour. Wow! what a victory!
I wonder how IIM-B ends up with such good players across ALL sports , I firmly believe PGSEM is huuuuge advantage ;)

The last two days were a lot of fun. Quite an enthu first year batch - those innovative slogans for cheering and those creative songs LOL LOL .
I have to admit - some were on the vulgar side - but they were so funny, I'll have to condone them (that parody of the famous 'Jhandu Balm Jhandu Balm' song hehehe...sorry, I am a spoilsport , I won't put it here!)

Ah, now this brings me to the larger question of swear-word usage that is being hotly debated on www.pagalguy.com

My take on the issue:
1) The 'tax-payer' statement was too stupid , especially by pagalguy standards (a forum I admire)
2) I wonder if colloquial Hindi is 'inherently' abusive. The abuses in that video are one of the MOST common ones that you will hear ACROSS college campuses. Next time, try evesdropping into a conversation of young, educated, (hindi speaking) youth at say, a Pizza Hut - almost always - you will hear a casual B**HOD, M**HOD doing the rounds( Tell me you haven't heard THE campus song of the year : BC sutta ) . Very, very contrasting to my mother tongue. At least , the educated class NEVER uses the 'Kannada equivalents'. The maximum I go upto with my closest friends is "Nimmajji" !! :D

There is some deep cultural issue here. Here's some interesting projects for you social scientists : 'Linguistics: On Why Anatomical references are tolerated in some languages ', or 'Demographic Trend in Abuses: why Gaali is a Fundamental Right for the Youth '

Oh, Forget it I am raving.....- Its time celebrate the victory at L^2 tonight !!!

A Heartfelt Crib

2008-06-18T23:25:00.005+05:30

I find it so hard to believe. But it is true.
An alumnus of my college played spoilsport and disclosed one of the most interesting of IIMB's traditions. The charm of the tradition was its surprise element and he ruined it. He released a book about his life at IIMB and spoiled the fun by talking about it. Ironically, the book had an unoffical release at our campus itself - the nerve!

I wish I could hire a lawyer and sue the guy. Some hate mail should be doing rounds by now. Gosh, what a selfish attitude he must have - I hate the guy.

Tales from Indraprastha

2008-04-17T14:24:00.003+05:30

If you didn’t already know, Delhi used to be the Capital of the Pandavas ( Indraprastha ).

I love cities which have a history ( story ) about them. I liked Hyderabad for the same reason. ( notwithstanding the biriyani’s of course! )
So when I enter the swanky Delhi Metro station at Connaught Place and stare at the display boards with neon signs announcing “ Indraprastha “ , “ Dwarka “ etc – it gives a different , ‘back-to-the-future’ kind of feeling. Keep the metro as is, but take the clock back 5000 years : What do you get ? Men and women getting off chariots to get into the Metro ! LOL

My take on the Delhi Metro : It Rocks !! Public transport in India is really looking up these days – it is almost as if, you are being rewarded for having had to put up with all the dirty bus-stands and foul smelling train compartments for so many years. ( I am suddenly reminded of a school teacher of mine ( ‘TGS’? ) who hated (train) travel so much – and she taught geography ! )

Since I am in India – the Metro is bound to be crowded…err, VERY crowded. It is a tautology so – we’ll let it pass. But still, we are talking of escalators right up to the road man ! Jai Hind !

I wonder if it was the British who introduced the Metro concept. So, we owe it to them, just as we do the language. Ah, let me talk more about our language : No, not the National language - but something that binds us even closer as Indians - ‘Indian English’ !!

And if you are the observant Metro traveler like me ;), you cannot help but smile when this announcement is made ,

“ Please note that pickpocketers have been identified at various points in the Metro and station area “.

Oh really ! Congratulations for identifying them…so, do you plan to do anything now , let them hang around and have a nice time?!?
The Hindi announcement is flawless though – “ …Jaeb-khatron .. hone ki aashankha hai..’ [ ‘Shankha’ for suspicion…]

And then there is another sign board with the classic misplaced modifier :)
“ Please keep children on lap below 3 feet “

Well, well – most people’s laps are hardly a feet long –imagine someone with a 3 feet long lap ! LOL

While I am on the topic, let me talk about the other day when I walked into Palika Bazaar. As I ambled in the underground market place which has a population density of 10 people per square foot , I heard someone call out in a gruff voice , “ Come, Come , Chudidaar “ !
D-UH ? Like Russel Peters ,I thought … ‘Somebody’s gonna get a hurt real baaad…’
But no, it was some earnest guy trying to woo a foreigner to look at his clothes collection – haha. ‘ Come , Come Chudidaar ‘. The exact words.

The curious thing about marketplaces is that they create a non-existant need in you and force you to make a hole in your pockets. So, out of nowhere - I had this desire to purchase a leather belt. Off goes the seller to me, “ Yes, Bradher , tell me Bradher “..I silence him in Hindi. And begin to look at samples. Goodness! you should see the way they do business , they are so quick and do such a good job at convincing you. We should invite these guys for our business fest – they’ll definitely have a thing or two to teach us.

So, before I could realize what was going on – he had measured my waist, made appropriate holes , put the belt in a cover and thrust it onto my hand. Clearly annoyed by this impudence, I made it known that I had still not decided on the purchase. Guess what - he mistook my indecision to be my strategy for getting the ‘true’ value out of him. So , we went haggling and he began quoting lower and lower prices until he came down to 275 bucks ( from 450 ! ) . I decided to stop – went ahead , bought it…( ‘Special Price for you Brather’ ).

And that’s how I became a ‘proud’ owner of a GUCCI . heh.

3.3 for Consult

2008-03-19T14:23:00.007+05:30

[ No Explanations offered if any solicited :) ]

Beaming in the auditorium, sat the two hundred odd rats
Fancying their shiny Blue coats , they sat contended
The race, it was all over : Veni , Vidi , Vici !
Oh, how wrong they were ! For somewhere out of the corner was that whisper -
' 3.3 for Consult 3.3 for Consult '

No , the Real Race was about to START
Off went their shiny Blue coats - it didn't matter for the Real Race
Some rats winced, some rats cried foul ,some rats gave up
"Another race?" "but I have my Blue ?" they innocently asked
"Ha!" scorned a veteran rat - "Don't ask questions - Run !"
And so, reluctantly they ran - louder was the dreaded whisper -
' 3.3 for Consult 3.3 for Consult '

Then they scurried along - and senior rat-in-chief spat the rules
" The Race to the '4'th Mile is 2 years long
Reach close to 4, but collect bullets along the way
Remember each bullet is worth a point
and never forget the eternal truth
'3.3 for Consult, 3.3 for Consult '

Oh No! Head start for a few ! Oh - precious time lost -
Maximize! Optimize! What skills can help me reach the '4'th Mile ?
There was but one answer - 'You Stick' - Stick to Beaten Tracks -
But Conscience ? - 'Em Shiny Blue Coats, the world expects more from you..
Who cares - I want my safe old beaten track - fast, efficient , thorough , dry.
Rant, Chant, '3.3 for Consult, 3.3 for Consult '

End of The Grand Finale - the Big Daddy came, the Big Daddy announced -
New Coats for every rat beyond the 3.3 Mile - you are one of us brother !!
"Yes- I did it !" the rats were euphoric - I...I frigging did it !
Felt great to wear new Coats, felt great to meet brothers - from the Amber, Crimson races

Off they all went to make merry - Happy Family at Utopia -
Did they hear the dreaded haunt of a whisper again ?
'3.3 to stay a Consult' . '3.3 to stay a Consult '.
Without their knowledge, Another race had just begun.....

Happy Birthday to Me !!!

2008-02-18T18:26:00.003+05:30

Another year is past,
I wonder how long these years will last !
So many memories to remember
So many dreams to fulfil
On this day, then , let me take stock
Of all that I need , to make the coming year rock !
Have I started off on a good note ?
Oh yeah - I rolled in slush and my bottom hurts like hell
That's Birthday at IIMB , indeed a story to tell !

Mister Keynes and the Visible Hand : Part I

2008-02-11T12:01:00.000+05:30

Imagine if you were asked to introduce a bright 12 year old child to the subject matter of Macroeconomics. I can visualize the following conversation between me and her :-

Me : You know, there are quite a few people in this world who don't have enough to eat, its really sad...

She: Yeah....i know. Is there nothing we can do to solve the problem ?

Me : You see, they need money to buy things and...

She : I wish I were the Prime Minister. I would think of a clever way to give them 'lots and lots of money' to buy things!

Me : Sweet of you . Hey, do you know where they print these notes ? ( showing her a 10-rupee note )

She : I know ! It is called a mint. There is one at Nasik I think - my teacher mentioned that in class.

Me : Oh I see. You mean, we can actually go to this mint tomorrow and ask them to print 'lots and lots of money' ? Hey, we can then bring it back and distribute it to the poor !

She : Wow !! Brilliant ! Lets.....umm....but wait....why hasn't the Government thought about this till now ? Maybe more money means.....hmm...what is the worth of money?....can we really...

Me : Welcome to Macroeconomics !!

So, I study 'Macroeco' this term - and am all excited . Before my MBA - I used to be extremely confused with concepts such as 'GDP', 'interest rates' - what decreases when what increases and so on. It was very ambiguous and I thought these economists con us by arguing one way or the other in a way that you can't distinguish which is what !

But now - after 10 classroom sessions [ and an exam :) ] I plan to bore my readers with 'lots and lots' of blog entries on Macroeconomics !!!

So, here goes....

At the very heart of economics , are observations which describe how individuals ( with wants and needs ) behave in society. That's it . All the complicated mathematics that follow are largely unsuccessful ( !) attempts at quantifying this behaviour.

Now, there are 4 Fundamental ( 'Most Important' ) Ideas of Macroeconomics :

==========================================

1) The idea that interest rate is the price of money.

Like any other good - money is subjected to demand-supply dynamics. The demand for a good increases when its price decreases and vice versa. Similarly, excessive supply of a good brings down its price. This is a fundamental concept in economics as a whole.

2) The idea that our tendency to consume increases with increase in Income.

Call it greed if you want :) , but this concept of wanting more when you already have more - is discussed in the Vedas and the Bhagavad Gita!

3) The idea that our demand for money :

a) increases if our income levels are higher and
b) decreases if money becomes too costly to hold in idle form. ( why keep it with you when you can park it in a bank and make it grow ) .

4) The idea that corporates need to borrow money to make Investments in machines and factories ( which produce goods ) . So, they are worried if the price of money ( interest rate ) is too high.

==========================================

Now, if we can't do much if we hang around merely with these behavioural insights. We need more than that - we need hard numbers , to tell us by how much do things 'increase' and 'decrease' in the statements above.

The first step towards quantifying is developing a framework for writing equations.

Basis for the Framework of Equations :

1) The idea that we need a measure of the output of an economy and we can look at output as
the sum-total of :
a) All that is consumed ( by the individual and the government )
b) All that is "invested" : that is , spent by companies for buying machines , building
factories ( to produce the goods we consume in a) ! )
c) All that is exported on a 'net' basis( i.e. remove the imported goods since we didn't produce
them )

2) The idea that , at an aggregate level, 'Income' and 'Output' are two different ways of looking at the same thing.

3) The idea that income at your disposal is the sum total of consumption and savings. This may include income received ( a gift , say ) but not earned and income earned ( tax part of your salary ) but not received. So, we make a distinction between 'income' and 'disposable income'.

Now , we are kind of set - In my next blog entry, I'll write about how to understand those 'confusing' things we read in the papers - about RBI , US Fed decreasing interest rates , Bush planning to give a fiscal stimulus to the sub-prime crisis etc.

Formalisms, Frameworks and Frustration

2007-12-11T23:31:00.000+05:30

At the risk of "slandering" ( lol ) my own tribe, I make the claim that there are way too many engineers/scientists in the MBA field. This is not at all a good thing and let me explain why.

Remember way back in school, we learnt about this really cool thing called the "Scientific Method". Basically it is about how you observe something in nature , create an idealistic model and start testing your model out. One fine day, it might just happen that some chap comes up with a scenario where your model bombs , and hey- everyone is all excited to try out a new model now. And on goes this cycle..

Yeah, its fun . But, folks - I think we are suffering from a hangover. We want to make EVERY DISCIPLINE under the sun comply with these sacred steps. Du-uh? Why this one-size-fits-all approach ? The 'scientific way' is the only LEGITIMATE way to study any subject. For the writers who write textbooks , it is the only way they can make their discipline 'attractive' ! This is a really dangerous trend affecting not-entirely-scientific disciplines , MBA being no exception.

Here's an example :-

In my MBA course, I study Organization Behavior ( more specifically, "Managing People and Performance in Organizations" ) which tries to understand people's personalities , their mutual interaction in an organizational setting and how their environment can be made conducive to the organization's benefit . My biggest complaint against this course is its extremely 'formal' treatment. By formal treatment , I mean that the course proceeds so much like a textbook on science - where you make observations , try and standardize whatever you see and draw generic conclusions. As a consequence of 'forcing' the scientifc method, you create this huge machinery of

a) Definitions
b) Frameworks : I am referring to complicated Graphs, Diagrams, Tables, Matrices and what not.
( Its like Newton who ended up inventing Calculus while describing astronomical phenomena )

Just what ARE we trying to do ?? Don't we realize that so much of it is meaningless formalism. Where is the so called 'human element' ? It seems to have hopelessly got lost in all the quibbling.
To illustrate a point, one section in my textbook talks about different styles of leadership and goes on to PLOT them on an X - Y axes with ORDERED PAIRS such as ( 1,1 ) , ( 9,9 ) etc ! And that is not all , it goes further to describe a new ' style ' and tries to project it on 3 dimensions - finally the reader is staring at a sexy figure straight out of a 'Math Challenges' magazine !

Give me a break folks. If the eternal debate of whether Management is a Science or an Art has hit a new level, it is due to such illustrations. I am afraid if my coursework requires me to 'remember' such 'creations' for my examination. I have a good mind to rebel and fill my entire answer paper with equations I learnt in co-ordinate geometry.

So, that's one. Now, the other 'casualty' in my MBA course seems to be 'Marketing Management'. At the outset, let me agree that marketing ( especially market research ) DOES require a lot of quantitative analysis and hence the subject needs to be analytical and 'scientific'.
But , why have elaborate analytical frameworks for something like consumer behaviour or advertising psychology ? In our coursework, we are simply bombarded with words , theories , definitions and more theories.

To me , most frameworks that populate textbooks are of dubious worth - they are hardly applicable in a situation which is not the same as the one which led to the creation of the framework itself ! ( Sort of these perpetual machines we used to imagine! )

Then came something to spruce up our grim life :-)
Today , we had this talk on Marketing by this awesome guy called Santosh Desai. You can probably google him up , but here's one link for those of you who follow the marketing industry.

Man, he was SIMPLY AMAZING. His whole talk , titled 'Life Backwards' was about two simple ideas :
a) Advertising should speak to people when they are busy being people. ( In other words, don't sit in your Ivory tower making marketing plans to these unknown creatures you call as "consumers" )
b) The central quest of human beings is the quest for meaning , and the concept of brand should address that.

He stressed the importance of getting out of straight-jacketed thinking and look for simple insights in everyday life. For example , how do you say that the Indian Society is getting more "modernized " ? No, don't point to the urban westernized youth who visit pubs and discos. Show me the heartland of middle-class India. Women in 'Nighties' ! lol . It was quite an interesting / amusing point he made - what a nightie offers them is really 'Freedom from Shape!' ( Women' Lib? ) and then think about how names such as potty, pinky, sweety in middle class India came about -( an indication of a 'greasy' modernism?) . Or look at little girls from poor families who go to Government Schools - They sport bob cuts! -( a paradigm shift from the traditional plaited hair , a shape of things to come? )

On the whole, a very engaging talk - I should probably reserve a separate blog entry for this some other time.

That brings me to the end of this blog entry and back to my basic point -

If the MBA world wants to encourage innovation in its truest sense , they better start by ruthlessly cutting down excessive formalization and steering away from obsessing on the 'Venerated' Scientific Method. The sooner this is done, the better it is for us all.

Random Ramblings

2007-10-04T19:51:00.000+05:30

I decided to try my hand at some random ( "arbit" as we call it ) writing , so here goes ......

Interestingly , all institutes such as the one I study at , have a highly developed nomenclature for the various kinds of species that haunt their accomodations . ( The inventors of these names can be traced to the early inhabitants of the IIT's ) . I have taken the liberty to 'glamourise' the names by altering them :D. Let me present the reader with the first of these species - "Fighterus Maximus"( English : The Fighter ) . Fighters are organisms who push themselves to run that 'extra' mile. More importantly, they are the ones who want to be the best at everything they do and rarely compromise. Simply put, they work, and they work hard.

Now, there are a few organisms which are quite different from the fighters. These species have a natural aptitude at quantitative subjects and always manage to ace them. Since the fighters take a longer while to master such subjects , they are super-amazed as to how this other group has so much time to spare. Hence, they begin to refer to them as "Studdus Ultimatus" ( English : The Stud , for Spare Time Under Disposal! ).

There is a third kind of species which form the most interesting of studies for the behavioural scientist - they are the "Fuddus Hypocritus" ( English : The Fud , for Fighter Under Distress ) .
These are a curious bunch of organisms who are basically fighters , but , due to some strange reason hate to be known as fighters in other fellow organisms. They are unhappy that they do not have the natural aptitude of the studs , it really seems to hurt their pride.

So, they love to behave as if they have a lot of Spare Time Under Disposal in front of everyone. They make elaborate preparations to pretend they aced a quiz without having studied for it ! ( by secretly putting in as many work hours as the fighters when nobody seems to be noticing!) . Being know as a "stud" seems to give them a lot of legitimacy in their circles - its quite interesting. No one seems to know where their hypocrisy comes from. I wonder if my enlightened readers like to comment...

This probably brings me to the inevitable question : Where do I fit in ?
Well, definitely not Fuddus Hypocritus, so I will put myself under Fighterus Maximus :D

M.B.A : Master of Business Analysis

2007-07-13T18:24:00.000+05:30

Let me acknowledge that 3 weeks into the program is too early to size up what an M.B.A is all about . However, I refuse to let go of this opportunity , so here goes ! [ Disclaimer : I plan to revisit this blog entry after the course to validate my lemmas ]

So, I was initiated into thinking this up in my class on Managing Oraganizations ( "OB" as it is popularly known ). A question we posed in the course was this : " Should organizations follow a model where much of their product is developed in-house or should they follow a model where most of the development ( including core competencies ) are outsourced ? "
[ Some examples of the latter are Toyota, Bharthi Telecom . ]

Here's the problem :-
How do we answer the above query ?

Wait , let me make it glamorous :- Say you are the company executive who needs to take this decision tomorrow . Will the learnings from your b-school give you the answer ?

My Answer : Not really.
And that is exactly what I am trying to drive at in this post on the three letters M, B, A.

To me, an MBA is a course on Business Analysis ( not Administration ) . By analysis, I mean that the course teaches you exactly two things :-

1) Tells you how to analyse a given problem.

2) Hammers into you that you need to consider ALL possible options and evaluate them before making a decision . ( In this specific case, our Prof told us interesting things on how you need to account for a zillion costs - Costs of Production , Transaction Costs etc etc let me not get into those details... )

Anyway, my point is , What an MBA *does not* tell you how to do is - the vital 3rd step :

3) Making the decision !

Why ? Simply because this last step is entirely situation dependent. Had it been formulaic, somebody might have come up with a cool idea to replace Managers with slick computers already. Fortunately for the manager-types, of the several variables which go into decision making , many can never be 'quantize'd and crunched into numbers.

So decision making is much much more than that.

Enter the X factor . Call it " Experience " , " Intuition " , " Gut Feeling " or whatever you want. You might have all your grand theories in place about the Auto industry , but if you have never worked in the auto industry - you can rest assured the decisions you make will almost always go for a toss!

Let me quote Henry Mintzberg who drives the point home about MBA programs , " It is plain silly to take people who have never been managers - many of whom have not even worked full-time for more than a few years - and pretend to be turning them into managers in a classroom.......stop dumping management theories and cases on people who have no basis to judge the relevance. "

Can somebody take a comment from B-schools that advertise themselves to be creating the "leaders of tomorrow " in their classrooms ?

In the end, what does this all mean ? Are MBA programs nothing more than a burden on the exchequer ?
Not at all. There is no need to be pessimistic about the whole thing.

All we need to keep in mind is the river-horse analogy :
If we are the horses , an MBA is that which can , at the most, take us to the river.

Nope, it CAN'T make you drink water. Period.

Illegal Economics

2007-07-04T19:09:00.001+05:30

I decided to quickly document an interesting discussion that came up in class today.

Suppose you want to badly watch the Wimbeldon Final ,and you are unable to get a ticket for it. Lets say a tout comes to you with a $1500 ticket and, given the great demand, you agree to pay $3000 and have a happy viewing at the final.

As per law, selling tickets in "black" is illegal. Lets examine this a little more carefully. What illegal activity did the tout indulge in ?

1) He took the trouble of standing in the Queue and getting the ticket.

2) He did *not* force the ticket on you, it was entirely your decision to buy it from him.

3) He made profit by buying a good at a lower price and selling the same good at a higher price.

Isn't this exactly what "legitimate" businesses do ?

1) Get their hands dirty to provide you a service.

2) Sell that service whenever you require it.

3) Make a profit by charging you a premium for that service.

So, why is the tout a wrong-doer or a criminal ? [ Because he doesn't pay tax ? Assume the money he earns is within the tax-slab where there is complete exemption. ]

You might now argue that the Wimbeldon authorities have already fixed a price for the ticket, and we have no 'right' to change it. But wait, we are talking of a free market. Who are they to fix the price. In fact, no price can be disallowed in a free market . If prices are too high and ridiculous , rational consumers will automatically ensure that the price is brought down by decreasing the demand.

So, the tout's rebuttal to the Wimbeldon Authorities will be , " Look, you guys are free to increase price. Because you are ignorant of the PREVAILING value of that ticket , you fixed a lower price and sold it at that 'wrong' price to me . So, don't blame ME for YOUR incompetence ! "

From an economics standpoint, I don't see what is wrong with the tout's argument. Interesting. What we consider to be "illegal" is probably not so illegal after all !

My Singapore Holiday !

2007-06-16T12:39:00.000+05:30

Exotic. Simply , 'Zimbly' ( remember Tamil is official! ) exotic.
That's how I would describe Singapore.

Our tour began upon landing at Changi on June 12th after which we headed straight to Little India - the township where our hotel was located. The drive was superb. Clean roads, beautiful cars , green trees and super sexy bikes ! Seeing Chinese people ride them reminded me of Police Story ( Jackie Chan ) ! There are some really cool models in China/Singapore ( most of them come with a front glass ) .
The city is very well planned and structured. Quite literally so ; for, we came across a truck carrying labourers and even the labourers were seated in an orderly fashion ! There were exactly 3 striaght rows with 8 people each ! :-)

Day 1 was the Night Safari trip. A lot of work has gone into simulating the real jungle experience and it is by no means wasted. You are taken on a long tour on a tram into a forest where you see wild animals on either side and very close to you . As you move along, the announcer gives you very interesting information about the animals you see and she makes it so exciting ! The quiet atmosphere and flawless rendition reminds you National Geographic ( only , this time you are inside the TV ). Great Experience.

On the side of the entrance , there is an Animal show every 1 hour called Creatures of the Night. We sit around in an open Amphitheatre and the host brings animals to the stage and makes them do interesting things. I am amazed by how they make it not only entertaining but also educational. Most importantly, they spell out a hidden message on Environment And Conservation. Like the mongoose in the show which picked up plastic bags and neatly dropped them into the waste bin !

Day 2 was the visit to Jurong Bird Park and Sentosa Island. The bird park is so big , it will probably take you two full days to see all of it. It is as exciting as the Night Safari , there are two interesting shows with birds ( Hawks , eagles and other birds of prey go wizzing above your heads !) . We went around on a mini-train and stopped midway at a place called the Lory Loft where you have a huge netted enclosure of lories. You can move around with a small cup of bird seed and feed these birds .They coolly perch on your hands - but if you try to touch them , they'll fly away !

Sentosa Island is a beautiful place. The underwater world is one of the best attractions there. You walk through a transparent glass tunnel where you see exotic fish and shark swim all around you. Other attractions are the Dolphin show ( which , surprisingly - is not very great. My parents tell me the one in San Diego is much better ) , and the Merlion . The cable car ride where you cross the sea is fantastic . The tour ends with a laser show called 'Songs of the Sea' where they use water , lights , music and fire(!) to construct an amazing visual experience lasting half-an-hour.

Day 3 was a tour of the city. Did you know that Subhash Chandra Bose formed the Indian National Army in front of the City Hall at Singapore ? The Supreme Court of Singapore is located on top of the City Hall. I must admit I was amused when the tour guide called it the 'supreme' Court - I mean, it is serves only a small city of 4 million people ! However, it is by no means taken lightly by the people there . The law is very very strict in Singapore. For example, drug trafficking invokes a mandatory death penalty. And corruption attracts rigorous imprisonment and caning on the seat of your pants ! In fact, the court is in the shape of a flying saucer. Supposed to be symbolic of a gateway to hell for the wrong-doers !
If you drive around in Singapore, you can't miss the skyscrapers. ( You could have a panoramic view if you take the special sky ride at Sentosa ). Some of them have lovely shapes - there is one which looks like a slice of cake, one which is a chocolate and one which...was meant to be a mike ( stage microphone ) but looks like a jackfruit ! ( This building is where plays/operas are held ).

Out tour came to end on Day3 and we reached Changi Airport four hours early for our 20:15 flight back to India. The airport is simply mind-blowing !! If you go to Singapore budget some time specifically to go around the airport . For those familiar with Bangalore, imagine a super-mall comprising The Forum + Garuda + Bangalore Central. Multiply the size of this mall by a factor of 20. Now , you might get something close to Changi. You get the idea.
Seriously - its incredible. After security check, you can catch a free movie or work out at the Gym. Or , you could sit around in the Lounge and watch TV. Or, you could go back and forth in the Travellator ( the 'horizontal' escalator ) :-)
Well, you begin to wonder if Changi is primarily an entertainment super-mall which , INCIDENTALLY, manages to land planes !

Ah, that brings me to the end of this travelogue. I must not forget to narrate that funny incident at the Mustafa Center ( Singapore's 24/7 shopping mall ). I was wandering around when three burly policemen came out of nowhere , gave me a handout and walked away. The handout said, " Beware of pickpockets and shop-lifters ". I felt good ( thank-you- that- was-very-kind ). I turned over the page and saw - " Shop Theft is a crime ! If caught ......." . Oops . Now, why the handout ? Was I a potential victim or the thief himself ! LOL.

The Pompous Autowallah of BengaLooru

2007-06-04T18:05:00.000+05:30

Bangalore's Auto Rikshaw drivers never cease to annoy and irritate me. Especially the ones who park their vehicles at the auto stand near my place.

If you walk up to them and politely tell them you need to go to place A , they do either of two things : Look away from you and pretend they didn't hear you. Or, give you a nasty look ( as if I asked to be chauffeured to the neighbouring galaxy! ) and shake their heads.

Sheesh! What is wrong with these people ? Am I not paying for the service ??

Hmm, makes me wonder where this arrogance comes from. My first thought is the Demand - Supply Dynamic , there are probably way too many people who want to travel via autos.

Or, say I am an Autowallah. I probably make too much money already ! So, I don't have an ECONOMIC INCENTIVE to strain myself doing that extra trip to place A. The gain from that extra trip is at best marginal. So, why should I care ? ( Call it 'Freakonomic incentive' if you have read that amazing book )

An autowallah is a self-employed person. What can incentivise him to do more ( or better ) ? Well, if you were a Company or an Institution , you would easily answer that question. There are SO MANY things you could do : Expand your business, diversify into different products, produce more , improve quality and so on.

But what should an Auto driver do ? If there were a private agency running these autos , you can rest assured the driver's manager would stretch him, push him harder. ( Ah, we all have personal experience , don't we :D ) At least, you are assured of a commutation facility to place A. But, with a self-employed auto driver who is answerable/accountable to NOBODY, you have a very difficult problem on your hands.

Yes, probably the Government could intervene and make those meters tick slower. In fact, the Government is probably the source of all trouble ( heh! ) , why did they fix the pulse rate so high ?

I will end by making a comparison with Hyderabad where I lived for nearly two years. Most places in Hyderabad are connected by "Shared Autos". Now, shared autos are a very interesting concept. To put in software parlance, they are highly customizable :-) . Which means, if Person A is going from X to Z, and you are person B - you can get into the Auto by stopping it at some place Y ( between X and Z ) , and get down at ANY place W ( again between X and Z ). Amazing ! So, you must have guessed that - it is not 1 or 2 people travelling in these autos - they are literally bursting with people ! Commuters can just drop off where they want , and new ones get in. Yeah, very similar to a bus service. Of course, you pay only for that fraction of distance you have travelled. Oh yeah - those auto wallahs can quickly proportion the money you need to pay. All this basically implies that people get to quickly travel short distances by paying small amounts - 3 to 4 Rs. It really helps them do a lot of things in a day, travel is no longer a constraint, unlike Bangalore.

From the economics perspective, Auto Drivers in Hyderabad end up COMPETING to get customers by stopping at various points. Naturally, competition drives prices downwards. Also, they are cordial and well-behaved , after all they want you to be their guest :-)

To summarize, it is not self-employment that is the fundamental problem - but, the ECONOMIC ENVIRONMENT where self-employment is practised.

The Test Cracker and his Curse

2007-05-07T12:43:00.000+05:30

I am a big fan of The Great US Universities : The Harvards, Stanfords , MITs and the like.
My 'fan-dom' arises partly from the contribution they have made to academics and mostly from the very highly accomplished individuals that form part of their community and culture.

Now, of the several criteria on which a potential candidate is evaluated for Master's admission into these institutes - an important parameter is your score on a Standardized Test such as the GRE. So, an Indian student from a very good undergraduate college ( say an IIT ) only needs to ensure that he has a high GRE score and is in the good books of his Professors ( by getting top grades ) .
Getting top grades with a high GRE score is no mean achievement...[ Our Test Cracker has shown you how to do it ] BUT ,

That's it - That's all it takes !

You really don't need to bother about WHAT your Statement Of Purpose is , or ASK YOURSELF WHY you really want to do Post Graduate Study. In other words - an MS from a Top Univ appears to be a function of your aptitude / analytical skills and hard work.

So, why is that a problem ? What am I driving at ?
"Unfortunately" ( note the quotes :) ) , these aptitude skills ( and good grades ) are ALL you need to crack the MBA entrance exams - such as the CAT.
So, our Test Cracker from IIT, has aced the CAT too. - yeah, the same dude who has admits from Top U.S Universities.

So, now he is in a dilemma. Do I choose an IIM over , say a Berkeley , a Stanford or even THE MIT ?!
Whew ! This is something that can give our Test Cracker sleepless nights ! As per statistics, there is a whole bunch of IIT grads losing sleep at this time of the year :)
[ Recently, I saw a few cases of this sort . That is what set me thinking....and can you believe it ? There are one or two people with a Stanford Graduate Fellowship - something that is probably given to 12 students across the WORLD in a given year ! You must be really really good to get that . ]

Okay, so before trying to offer a solution to this problem, a question is in order : Is it the Test Cracker's curse that he is EQUALLY GOOD at everything ? Had he been lousy in his technical subjects in undergrad - he might probably be better placed today to make a decision . Or wait -is there a FUNDAMENTAL problem with the whole setup of admissions ?

How did two TOTALLY different programs ( Business Administration v/s Science Masters ) offer admits to the same student ? Okay, they BOTH asked our Test Cracker what he intends
to pursue , and our Test Cracker cleverly put forth his answer 'as appropriate'.

Hmm..I wonder if there is a practical solution to this problem ? Some method by which Universities could get people who are 'REALLY' ( slowly , this word is losing its meaning ) interested ?

I have to mention here that Ph.D programs ( both in US and India ) come close to getting the 'right' candidate. Why ? Ph.D prgrams don't rely much on Standardized Test Scores, they actually want to see an inclination towards research in a student.

But imagine an IIM or a US University filtering out candidates WITHOUT the CAT or GRE scores ! Jeez, it would take them YEARS to get 250 odd people - so they probably decided -

" Nah! Not worth it . Give them a test and it makes it so easy for us ! "

Easy for them. Uneasy for the Test Cracker.

Big Big Change

2007-04-30T16:57:00.000+05:30

I resigned from work today.

Wow - it was a nice feeling . My learning curve was flattening and was definitely starting to point in the '-Y direction' , whew ! I ' Yessscaaapp 'ed at the right time !!

I am off to do an MBA now. Yay !!
A combination of Providence ( The Verbal Section! ) and work ( the other Sections:) ) saw me through the CAT paper. Funny, I started off in Electronics and ditched it for a software job. Now I am getting rid of my software job for an MBA. I believe , this time , I have made the right choice - but again , it is what I make out of the MBA that finally matters.

It is definitely a great feeling to go back to school - I hope I will be able to utilize the opportunities that I am provided with.

Oh, btw - my salary would probably get credited today. Call it TA . ( No, not travel allowance ) - TREAT allowance !! haha

Carnatic Music and Thyagaraja

2007-03-18T23:42:00.000+05:30

I am slowly beginning to appreciate Carnatic Music. The other day, my mother and her music troupe had a group-singing on the Pancharatna Keerthanas by Thyagaraja

I enjoyed the rendition of the music. In fact, it got me thinking on the nature of Carnatic music and the structure of its 'key deliverables'.

The most striking characteristic that came across was the consistency of structure that these compositions maintain. It struck me as very mathematical.
You are given a sub-set of Swaras from the 7 musical notes - and the entire composition is a collection of complex permutations of exactly the same subset.
It is amazing how the consistency is maintained throughout the whole song !
Probably, there are very few music forms in this world which have this immaculate structure built into them.

Pop music, on the other hand - is a collection of totally random musical notes - where the listener can make NO correlation to any antecedents or consequents of one particular section of the song. But hey, I do like pop music too !

So, that brings me to propose that appreciating a particular genre of music over another has entirely to do with your state of mind at that point of time. For Carnatic music, you need to be in a relaxed, calm state - almost completely switched off from nagging thoughts and worries. Here the music is akin to medicine administered in minute doses - giving the 'patient' a world of time to heal !
Visually, Carnatic music should look like this :

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKLkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKLMkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKLMNkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKLMNOkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Notice how the music slowly SWAYS into different sets of musical notes without abrupt jumps. I would ascribe this pattern to Old Hindi film songs too.
Now, Rock music is propably at the other end of the spectrum ( Imagine substituting all the 26 letters of the alphabet into the above pattern - and throw in some Chinese characters too !! ) But again, I need that music when I am bouncy and jumping ( say , I won a zillion bucks in the lottery :) ).

Different moods, different music. That's what makes life interesting . For those with the perception that Carnatic music is for the older generation -
Hey You ! Carnatic Music Roxx !

Media's lack of Morality ?

2007-03-06T22:22:00.000+05:30

Recently, 280 youths in Pune were arrested by police during a "rave party" - and it came out big in the news. Within a couple of days, a popular news channel - let me call it '168' :) ( 24 * 7 ) organized a "debate", ostensibly to get different 'perspectives' on the incident. So, here was a debate going on with the Police Inspector who conducted the raid and another 'dude' ( forget his name, but he comes on such debates all the time - always supporting the wrong side ! ). So, let me call him the Crazy Stupid Dude - CSD.
The '168' news reader was the moderator.

Here's how the arguments went :

...
...
CSD : The police just want to hog media attention. These things are happening everywhere.
They don't have the guts to arrest the big fish ( aka politicians, film actors ) ....
...
...

What was that !? Look at his argument :-
"Because you can't catch the big fish, you let the small fish go ?!! "
Jeez - and then the '168' correspondent takes a que for his argument and tries to bring the heat on the police inspector ! Really ! I was very annoyed. Here we have a police force cracking down on an illegal activity and instead of applauding / encouraging them , we try and find SOME STICK to beat them with ??

I find this a clear instance of abuse of the Right to Free Speech. Observe how CSD coolly uses the phrase , "..don't have the guts .." . Somebody should tell CSD to show a little bit of respect to the set of people who are trying to make his life safe so that he can have a good night's sleep daily. ( Believe me, it requires guts )
Okay , don't get me wrong - I am not saying that the country's police force is full of honest, incorruptible people - there will always be bad eggs here and there. In fact , there might be many...BUT , that doesn't mean we talk so lightly about them - and more importantly when they have done their duty !!

Which brings me to ask whether media was right in holding a debate like this. Tomorrow, the Supreme Court may give a ruling against a psychopath who probably murdered lots of innocent people and there you see media playing God by being the moderator and giving a 'fair chance' to the guilty party. With a million Indians watching the show, there is bound to be some people who will turn in favour of the guilty , especially if we have people like Mr.CSD who can speak impressionably.

My point is just this - after watching the program - you MIGHT begin to wonder whether the police were right after all. Now, there will always be two sides of a coin - so if we keep highlighting the wrong side - what should become of our sense of morality ?

In their enthusiasm to show 'both sides of the coin' , the media seems to find it "fashionable" to look at it from the criminal's perspective. And that is exactly what scares me .....

Broadway at NCJ

2007-02-24T22:24:00.000+05:30

I decided to document some jolly memories of my pre-university college days at National College Jayanagar....What brought me to do this ? It was Vinay's Promotion Treat( Good work Vinay! ) - and the four of us ( Vinay, Avinash , Bili and I ) kept yakking about all those incidents that kept us entertained back then - and continue to tickle us even now.

It was the annual Drama competition at NCJ and the four of us along with NRP and Sunil Bhargava were all set to present our new creation - " Poorna Viraama". I don't remember the story line well - but the theme was on Psychology - how a person can die of shock if someone were to convince him that the water he just drank was poisoned , even though, in reality it wasn't ! Heavy theme, eh ? I wonder how we cooked it up :)

So, after a couple of practice sessions , we were all set . I was the scientist , Vinay the doctor , Avinash the 'Khaidi' and Pramod ( Bili ) his accomplice , Prasad - the businessman ( who dies ! ) and Linus ( ya, we used to call Sunil that :) ) the Policeman. It was really fun ! The drama was supposed to be a serious one - but unfortunately , we were in - to describe it in Kannada slang - 'Sikkapatte Time-pass' mode ! lol

Two minutes before start-time - we were frantically trying to set the stage right - putting all possible props wherever we could and simultaneously violating Newton's Law of two things not being able to occupy the same place at the same time .Anxious moments - hardly any time left before the curtain went up . For a split second , all of us stopped talking at the same time and NRP who happened to walk in at that instant , looked around and seriously remarked , " I think we should decompose them" - pointing to a pair of desks which were kept adjoining each other!

We burst out laughing ! Decompose ?! What a choice for a verb :) The whizkid of our college was probably mentally solving a linear system using matrices ( - LU decomposition right? ) !!

One joke after another , we started giggling and cracking up when suddenly the bell sounded and OOPS - we had to start the play ! aargh..it was so difficult to start looking serious and start off those high-sounding heavy dialogues.
I especially remember one of Vinay's - ( bcoz I helped write that one! ) - he shows a pen to the audience and says , " Ee pen nodi ..Idhu yaavdara melaadru thanna 'mark' bidabohudu , aadhre - thanna melae thaanae 'mark' bedakkaagaththa? " : err..supposed to be philosophical ! Jeez. Don't ask me why or in what context that came up !!!

Anyway, on and on we went and finally the play came to an end. Hmm..decent applause. But the real "appreciation" came in the end - Expert comments :-
[ The folks at NCJ had taken the trouble to get a professional dramatist to judge our play - he actually observed every part of it with a microscope! Our response was , " Dude, chill man - we were just trying to have fun ! " Somehow, the lecturers and the judge were inclined to disagree :) ]
So, the feedback :-
1) " Over-acting ! " ( No Comments - sheepish grin )

2) " The police file on the table did not have even a single paper in it when the policeman browsed it. " [ You actually noticed that ? :) ]

and finally the best one....
3) " The calendar in the room was at a height of 8 feet from the ground. " [ Hahaha.... How dumb of us ! We actually used a large stool to pin that calendar onto the curtain - it never occurred to us that - NORMALLY people don't use a ladder to hang their calendars in their houses ! It is always something that is at an accessible point ! )

Oh well , in Vinay's words - " It was the death knell to our acting careers " LOL . True, here we are - software engineers !

P.S: To be fair, our "Krishna Sandhaana" play WAS a big hit both in school , college and why - even REC ( farewell party ) ! So, we have that talent you know, we just need a good break - right Boys ??

The Birthday Equation

2007-02-18T00:04:00.000+05:30

Yay! I turn 25 today ! ( ..and I had nothing to do with it ! lol )

Wow - one-third of my life is OVER ! ( Yeah, not many people want to live beyond 75 - and I am one of them :) )
All those 'formative' years are long gone - I am supposed to have figured out what I plan to do with the remaining two-thirds of my life ! Now, Have I ? er.. ** No Comments **.

So, why do we celebrate birthdays , especially when nobody wants to grow old ?

It probably serves two purposes :-
To congratulate a person for coming this far ! ( why not? ) , and to wish him good luck for the days ahead.
So, let me wish myself,

Happy Birthday = Congratulations ( Hope you had fun all this while ) + Best of Luck ( there's lot more in store ) !!!!!!!!!

My first Post !

2007-02-17T00:32:00.000+05:30

Well , Well...I am SUCH a late entrant to the blogging world ! Better late than never , you say ?
Hmm...only time will tell. Like my friend was telling me the other day - you get bored of blogging very soon !

Let me see how long this will go . But , I was just thinking - there are two compelling reasons why I should have a blogger account :
a) Many many years from now, I want to look back at these chronicles - see what I did back then.
b) Recently, I have been reading some very interesting posts by my school and engg. college friends and I was tempted to comment on them ..( yeah, and posting anonymous and is such a pain :( )

So there you go !