‘Suitable’ Boys and Girls (On Why It Is Not What It Is – Or Is It. Not.)

It takes a fair bit of pluck to even attempt to understand Indian marriages. Consider, the fact that it is just not clear, till the very end, as to WHO is getting married. One would think that a marriage between A and B would, principally, involve exactly two people – (the above mentioned A and B). But no, my naive readers – it is much more complex than that. Take for instance, the case when A’s second cousin’s uncle’s grandfather had a show-down with B’s grandmother’s maternal cousin thrice removed -(at a time when a certain white powder was in vogue for dental hygiene). This random sparring of the grand-uncles, estimated to have occurred in circa 1900, if brought to light a mere 100 years later, can potentially damage the matrimony of A & B. So everyone is frantically trying to bury a non-existent hatchet. [ Never mind that, not just the hatchet, even the grand-uncles are already six feet under].

If you just rolled your eyes and looked skywards, then hold your gaze right there. We look up to the skies as well. After all, marriages are made in heaven(ly bodies). Douglas Adams would have called it the Galactic Improbability Correlation. The Galactic Improbability Correlation is essentially a piece of paper written about Mr.A and Ms.B (before either learned to read; and that’s the trick really) - with some Euclidean geometry thrown in for good measure. [Some call it horoscope, but that’s just semantics]. Anyway, this rule requires the planetary positions of Mr.A and Ms.B to have a high correlation. [ The astute reader might have guessed that by its very definition of improbability, the correlation often turns out to be imaginary].

Anyway, it is not all about imaginary worlds. We are intensely practical folks too. How else would you explain the fact that a working knowledge of a machine such as, say, an electric generator can actually help further your chances at marriage. Yes, we have power problems in India and it does help to have a handy ‘man of the house’. Is that it ? Er..not really. I was merely alluding to the fact that an engineering degree is a ticket to marital bliss in India. It is true, an engineering degree with a job in computer programming, will certainly take your stock in the arranged marriage market, north. Now, it is anybody's guess as to what the knowledge of electromagnetism has to do with matters of the heart, but enough said.

But let me emphasize that your humble blogger is merely making observations and reserving judgment. After all the proof is in the pudding: To put 1.2 billion people on the planet is no mean achievement.