Table Tennis and Sweet Revenge

We thrashed IIM Calcutta in Table Tennis.

BIG TIME (read Straight sets)

If I may modestly add - under my 'able captaincy' :))

Oh - Sweet revenge !
(after having lost to them exactly a year ago , a match that we should have ideally won! )

Feels great to break the Jinx - IIM Bangalore won a Table Tennis event for the FIRST TIME in the History of Inter-IIM Sports! Yo!

The credit should go to my entire team - we practiced hard , we had some amazing talent in the first years - and history created itself :)

The overall scoreline read 15 games to 2 in IIMB's favour. Wow! what a victory!
I wonder how IIM-B ends up with such good players across ALL sports , I firmly believe PGSEM is huuuuge advantage ;)

The last two days were a lot of fun. Quite an enthu first year batch - those innovative slogans for cheering and those creative songs LOL LOL .
I have to admit - some were on the vulgar side - but they were so funny, I'll have to condone them (that parody of the famous 'Jhandu Balm Jhandu Balm' song hehehe...sorry, I am a spoilsport , I won't put it here!)

Ah, now this brings me to the larger question of swear-word usage that is being hotly debated on www.pagalguy.com

My take on the issue:
1) The 'tax-payer' statement was too stupid , especially by pagalguy standards (a forum I admire)
2) I wonder if colloquial Hindi is 'inherently' abusive. The abuses in that video are one of the MOST common ones that you will hear ACROSS college campuses. Next time, try evesdropping into a conversation of young, educated, (hindi speaking) youth at say, a Pizza Hut - almost always - you will hear a casual B**HOD, M**HOD doing the rounds( Tell me you haven't heard THE campus song of the year : BC sutta ) . Very, very contrasting to my mother tongue. At least , the educated class NEVER uses the 'Kannada equivalents'. The maximum I go upto with my closest friends is "Nimmajji" !! :D

There is some deep cultural issue here. Here's some interesting projects for you social scientists : 'Linguistics: On Why Anatomical references are tolerated in some languages ', or 'Demographic Trend in Abuses: why Gaali is a Fundamental Right for the Youth '

Oh, Forget it I am raving.....- Its time celebrate the victory at L^2 tonight !!!

A Heartfelt Crib

I find it so hard to believe. But it is true.
An alumnus of my college played spoilsport and disclosed one of the most interesting of IIMB's traditions. The charm of the tradition was its surprise element and he ruined it. He released a book about his life at IIMB and spoiled the fun by talking about it. Ironically, the book had an unoffical release at our campus itself - the nerve!

I wish I could hire a lawyer and sue the guy. Some hate mail should be doing rounds by now. Gosh, what a selfish attitude he must have - I hate the guy.

Tales from Indraprastha

If you didn’t already know, Delhi used to be the Capital of the Pandavas ( Indraprastha ).

I love cities which have a history ( story ) about them. I liked Hyderabad for the same reason. ( notwithstanding the biriyani’s of course! )
So when I enter the swanky Delhi Metro station at Connaught Place and stare at the display boards with neon signs announcing “ Indraprastha “ , “ Dwarka “ etc – it gives a different , ‘back-to-the-future’ kind of feeling. Keep the metro as is, but take the clock back 5000 years : What do you get ? Men and women getting off chariots to get into the Metro ! LOL

My take on the Delhi Metro : It Rocks !! Public transport in India is really looking up these days – it is almost as if, you are being rewarded for having had to put up with all the dirty bus-stands and foul smelling train compartments for so many years. ( I am suddenly reminded of a school teacher of mine ( ‘TGS’? ) who hated (train) travel so much – and she taught geography ! )

Since I am in India – the Metro is bound to be crowded…err, VERY crowded. It is a tautology so – we’ll let it pass. But still, we are talking of escalators right up to the road man ! Jai Hind !

I wonder if it was the British who introduced the Metro concept. So, we owe it to them, just as we do the language. Ah, let me talk more about our language : No, not the National language - but something that binds us even closer as Indians - ‘Indian English’ !!

And if you are the observant Metro traveler like me ;), you cannot help but smile when this announcement is made ,

“ Please note that pickpocketers have been identified at various points in the Metro and station area “.

Oh really ! Congratulations for identifying them…so, do you plan to do anything now , let them hang around and have a nice time?!?
The Hindi announcement is flawless though – “ …Jaeb-khatron .. hone ki aashankha hai..’ [ ‘Shankha’ for suspicion…]

And then there is another sign board with the classic misplaced modifier :)
“ Please keep children on lap below 3 feet “

Well, well – most people’s laps are hardly a feet long –imagine someone with a 3 feet long lap ! LOL


While I am on the topic, let me talk about the other day when I walked into Palika Bazaar. As I ambled in the underground market place which has a population density of 10 people per square foot , I heard someone call out in a gruff voice , “ Come, Come , Chudidaar “ !
D-UH ? Like Russel Peters ,I thought … ‘Somebody’s gonna get a hurt real baaad…’
But no, it was some earnest guy trying to woo a foreigner to look at his clothes collection – haha. ‘ Come , Come Chudidaar ‘. The exact words.

The curious thing about marketplaces is that they create a non-existant need in you and force you to make a hole in your pockets. So, out of nowhere - I had this desire to purchase a leather belt. Off goes the seller to me, “ Yes, Bradher , tell me Bradher “..I silence him in Hindi. And begin to look at samples. Goodness! you should see the way they do business , they are so quick and do such a good job at convincing you. We should invite these guys for our business fest – they’ll definitely have a thing or two to teach us.

So, before I could realize what was going on – he had measured my waist, made appropriate holes , put the belt in a cover and thrust it onto my hand. Clearly annoyed by this impudence, I made it known that I had still not decided on the purchase. Guess what - he mistook my indecision to be my strategy for getting the ‘true’ value out of him. So , we went haggling and he began quoting lower and lower prices until he came down to 275 bucks ( from 450 ! ) . I decided to stop – went ahead , bought it…( ‘Special Price for you Brather’ ).

And that’s how I became a ‘proud’ owner of a GUCCI . heh.

3.3 for Consult

[ No Explanations offered if any solicited :) ]

Beaming in the auditorium, sat the two hundred odd rats
Fancying their shiny Blue coats , they sat contended
The race, it was all over : Veni , Vidi , Vici !
Oh, how wrong they were ! For somewhere out of the corner was that whisper -
' 3.3 for Consult 3.3 for Consult '

No , the Real Race was about to START
Off went their shiny Blue coats - it didn't matter for the Real Race
Some rats winced, some rats cried foul ,some rats gave up
"Another race?" "but I have my Blue ?" they innocently asked
"Ha!" scorned a veteran rat - "Don't ask questions - Run !"
And so, reluctantly they ran - louder was the dreaded whisper -
' 3.3 for Consult 3.3 for Consult '

Then they scurried along - and senior rat-in-chief spat the rules
" The Race to the '4'th Mile is 2 years long
Reach close to 4, but collect bullets along the way
Remember each bullet is worth a point
and never forget the eternal truth
'3.3 for Consult, 3.3 for Consult '

Oh No! Head start for a few ! Oh - precious time lost -
Maximize! Optimize! What skills can help me reach the '4'th Mile ?
There was but one answer - 'You Stick' - Stick to Beaten Tracks -
But Conscience ? - 'Em Shiny Blue Coats, the world expects more from you..
Who cares - I want my safe old beaten track - fast, efficient , thorough , dry.
Rant, Chant, '3.3 for Consult, 3.3 for Consult '

End of The Grand Finale - the Big Daddy came, the Big Daddy announced -
New Coats for every rat beyond the 3.3 Mile - you are one of us brother !!
"Yes- I did it !" the rats were euphoric - I...I frigging did it !
Felt great to wear new Coats, felt great to meet brothers - from the Amber, Crimson races

Off they all went to make merry - Happy Family at Utopia -
Did they hear the dreaded haunt of a whisper again ?
'3.3 to stay a Consult' . '3.3 to stay a Consult '.
Without their knowledge, Another race had just begun.....

Happy Birthday to Me !!!

Another year is past,
I wonder how long these years will last !
So many memories to remember
So many dreams to fulfil
On this day, then , let me take stock
Of all that I need , to make the coming year rock !
Have I started off on a good note ?
Oh yeah - I rolled in slush and my bottom hurts like hell
That's Birthday at IIMB , indeed a story to tell !

Mister Keynes and the Visible Hand : Part I

Imagine if you were asked to introduce a bright 12 year old child to the subject matter of Macroeconomics. I can visualize the following conversation between me and her :-

Me : You know, there are quite a few people in this world who don't have enough to eat, its really sad...

She: Yeah....i know. Is there nothing we can do to solve the problem ?

Me : You see, they need money to buy things and...

She : I wish I were the Prime Minister. I would think of a clever way to give them 'lots and lots of money' to buy things!

Me : Sweet of you . Hey, do you know where they print these notes ? ( showing her a 10-rupee note )

She : I know ! It is called a mint. There is one at Nasik I think - my teacher mentioned that in class.

Me : Oh I see. You mean, we can actually go to this mint tomorrow and ask them to print 'lots and lots of money' ? Hey, we can then bring it back and distribute it to the poor !

She : Wow !! Brilliant ! Lets.....umm....but wait....why hasn't the Government thought about this till now ? Maybe more money means.....hmm...what is the worth of money?....can we really...

Me : Welcome to Macroeconomics !!

So, I study 'Macroeco' this term - and am all excited . Before my MBA - I used to be extremely confused with concepts such as 'GDP', 'interest rates' - what decreases when what increases and so on. It was very ambiguous and I thought these economists con us by arguing one way or the other in a way that you can't distinguish which is what !

But now - after 10 classroom sessions [ and an exam :) ] I plan to bore my readers with 'lots and lots' of blog entries on Macroeconomics !!!

So, here goes....

At the very heart of economics , are observations which describe how individuals ( with wants and needs ) behave in society. That's it . All the complicated mathematics that follow are largely unsuccessful ( !) attempts at quantifying this behaviour.

Now, there are 4 Fundamental ( 'Most Important' ) Ideas of Macroeconomics :

==========================================

1) The idea that interest rate is the price of money.

Like any other good - money is subjected to demand-supply dynamics. The demand for a good increases when its price decreases and vice versa. Similarly, excessive supply of a good brings down its price. This is a fundamental concept in economics as a whole.

2) The idea that our tendency to consume increases with increase in Income.

Call it greed if you want :) , but this concept of wanting more when you already have more - is discussed in the Vedas and the Bhagavad Gita!

3) The idea that our demand for money :

a) increases if our income levels are higher and
b) decreases if money becomes too costly to hold in idle form. ( why keep it with you when you can park it in a bank and make it grow ) .

4) The idea that corporates need to borrow money to make Investments in machines and factories ( which produce goods ) . So, they are worried if the price of money ( interest rate ) is too high.

==========================================

Now, if we can't do much if we hang around merely with these behavioural insights. We need more than that - we need hard numbers , to tell us by how much do things 'increase' and 'decrease' in the statements above.

The first step towards quantifying is developing a framework for writing equations.

Basis for the Framework of Equations :

1) The idea that we need a measure of the output of an economy and we can look at output as
the sum-total of :
a) All that is consumed ( by the individual and the government )
b) All that is "invested" : that is , spent by companies for buying machines , building
factories ( to produce the goods we consume in a) ! )
c) All that is exported on a 'net' basis( i.e. remove the imported goods since we didn't produce
them )

2) The idea that , at an aggregate level, 'Income' and 'Output' are two different ways of looking at the same thing.

3) The idea that income at your disposal is the sum total of consumption and savings. This may include income received ( a gift , say ) but not earned and income earned ( tax part of your salary ) but not received. So, we make a distinction between 'income' and 'disposable income'.

Now , we are kind of set - In my next blog entry, I'll write about how to understand those 'confusing' things we read in the papers - about RBI , US Fed decreasing interest rates , Bush planning to give a fiscal stimulus to the sub-prime crisis etc.

Formalisms, Frameworks and Frustration

At the risk of "slandering" ( lol ) my own tribe, I make the claim that there are way too many engineers/scientists in the MBA field. This is not at all a good thing and let me explain why.

Remember way back in school, we learnt about this really cool thing called the "Scientific Method". Basically it is about how you observe something in nature , create an idealistic model and start testing your model out. One fine day, it might just happen that some chap comes up with a scenario where your model bombs , and hey- everyone is all excited to try out a new model now. And on goes this cycle..


Yeah, its fun . But, folks - I think we are suffering from a hangover. We want to make EVERY DISCIPLINE under the sun comply with these sacred steps. Du-uh? Why this one-size-fits-all approach ? The 'scientific way' is the only LEGITIMATE way to study any subject. For the writers who write textbooks , it is the only way they can make their discipline 'attractive' ! This is a really dangerous trend affecting not-entirely-scientific disciplines , MBA being no exception.

Here's an example :-

In my MBA course, I study Organization Behavior ( more specifically, "Managing People and Performance in Organizations" ) which tries to understand people's personalities , their mutual interaction in an organizational setting and how their environment can be made conducive to the organization's benefit . My biggest complaint against this course is its extremely 'formal' treatment. By formal treatment , I mean that the course proceeds so much like a textbook on science - where you make observations , try and standardize whatever you see and draw generic conclusions. As a consequence of 'forcing' the scientifc method, you create this huge machinery of


a) Definitions
b) Frameworks : I am referring to complicated Graphs, Diagrams, Tables, Matrices and what not.
( Its like Newton who ended up inventing Calculus while describing astronomical phenomena )

Just what ARE we trying to do ?? Don't we realize that so much of it is meaningless formalism. Where is the so called 'human element' ? It seems to have hopelessly got lost in all the quibbling.
To illustrate a point, one section in my textbook talks about different styles of leadership and goes on to PLOT them on an X - Y axes with ORDERED PAIRS such as ( 1,1 ) , ( 9,9 ) etc ! And that is not all , it goes further to describe a new ' style ' and tries to project it on 3 dimensions - finally the reader is staring at a sexy figure straight out of a 'Math Challenges' magazine !

Give me a break folks. If the eternal debate of whether Management is a Science or an Art has hit a new level, it is due to such illustrations. I am afraid if my coursework requires me to 'remember' such 'creations' for my examination. I have a good mind to rebel and fill my entire answer paper with equations I learnt in co-ordinate geometry.

So, that's one. Now, the other 'casualty' in my MBA course seems to be 'Marketing Management'. At the outset, let me agree that marketing ( especially market research ) DOES require a lot of quantitative analysis and hence the subject needs to be analytical and 'scientific'.
But , why have elaborate analytical frameworks for something like consumer behaviour or advertising psychology ? In our coursework, we are simply bombarded with words , theories , definitions and more theories.

To me , most frameworks that populate textbooks are of dubious worth - they are hardly applicable in a situation which is not the same as the one which led to the creation of the framework itself ! ( Sort of these perpetual machines we used to imagine! )


Then came something to spruce up our grim life :-)
Today , we had this talk on Marketing by this awesome guy called Santosh Desai. You can probably google him up , but here's one link for those of you who follow the marketing industry.

Man, he was SIMPLY AMAZING. His whole talk , titled 'Life Backwards' was about two simple ideas :
a) Advertising should speak to people when they are busy being people. ( In other words, don't sit in your Ivory tower making marketing plans to these unknown creatures you call as "consumers" )
b) The central quest of human beings is the quest for meaning , and the concept of brand should address that.

He stressed the importance of getting out of straight-jacketed thinking and look for simple insights in everyday life. For example , how do you say that the Indian Society is getting more "modernized " ? No, don't point to the urban westernized youth who visit pubs and discos. Show me the heartland of middle-class India. Women in 'Nighties' ! lol . It was quite an interesting / amusing point he made - what a nightie offers them is really 'Freedom from Shape!' ( Women' Lib? ) and then think about how names such as potty, pinky, sweety in middle class India came about -( an indication of a 'greasy' modernism?) . Or look at little girls from poor families who go to Government Schools - They sport bob cuts! -( a paradigm shift from the traditional plaited hair , a shape of things to come? )

On the whole, a very engaging talk - I should probably reserve a separate blog entry for this some other time.

That brings me to the end of this blog entry and back to my basic point -

If the MBA world wants to encourage innovation in its truest sense , they better start by ruthlessly cutting down excessive formalization and steering away from obsessing on the 'Venerated' Scientific Method. The sooner this is done, the better it is for us all.